Notre Dame comeback falls short, Harvard, Dartmouth, UMass win, Florida, Alabama stun opponents, Texas embarrassed!

It’s become a weekly Etch A Sketch.

Just when you think you have this college football season somewhat figured out, the carnage of another Saturday comes rolling in, leaving the “experts” with a heavy dose of head scratching.

It akin to the “Running of the Brides” at the late, great, and much lamented Filene’s Basement.

In other words total chaos, with no clear number one, and a ton of intriguing possibilities.

But first we’ll begin in Austin, Texas with one of the most disheartening losses in the storied history of Long Horns football.

Visiting Texas was pulverized by the Horned Frogs of TCU; 50-7.  This game was a homecoming for TCU which will tell you something about the depths of football in Austin.

Homecoming games are usually scheduled as victory sweeteners so its alums can feel good, at least for the weekend, about good old State U.

Embarrassed is too kind of a word as the Burnt Orange finds itself 1-4 for the first time since the Eisenhower Administration – 1956.  It was also the seventh time in the 7-11 Charlie Strong era that the Horns have lost by at least 21-points.  YIKES!!

And with Oklahoma on the docket next week, the heat on the coaching seat of Mr. Strong will be measured in lava-like numbers.

Afterwards Strong was quoted as saying: “Awful.  Embarrassing.  We don’t know how to compete yet.”  DOUBLE YIKES!!

It reminds me of the old Star-Kist Tuna commercial:  “Sorry Charlie.”  Which is exactly how a large portion of the Horns nation feels about the hiring of Charlie Strong.

After a pair of scares by the “Big-Boys” of the Big Ten, Ohio State and Michigan State, maybe the strength of the league rests in Ann Arbor, and Evanston; the respective homes of Michigan and Northwestern.

Jim Harbaugh’s Sons of Bo Shembechler” had its second consecutive whitewashing; a 28-0 victory over Maryland.

It was the first time Big Blue has accomplished that feat since the end of the Clinton Administration – 2000, and sets up an intriguing showdown next week against undefeated Northwestern.

Speaking of the Wildcats the “Smart-Kids” are undefeated riding on the backs of its stout D which has surrendered only 3 TDs in in its first five games.  WOW!!

And its win over Stanford is looking more and more impressive as the season rolls one.

On the local front; good news for the Silver Lake Regional teammates; Buddy Teevens of Dartmouth whose Big Green won in Philadelphia for the first time since the Clinton Administration; 1997 crunching the Quakers of Pennsylvania: 41-20.

On Friday night the Green Bay Packers of Cambridge, otherwise known as Harvard Football, demolished Georgetown 45-0, for its 17th consecutive victory, and Coach Tim Murphy’s 150 win as the Crimson coach.  Good for them.

In Amherst Coach Mark Whipple’s “Belles of Amherst” broke into the win column with its 24-14 victory over FIU.

In that game the Minutemen’s stellar receiver, and all-time leader Tajae Sharpe, set a UMass game record with 15-receptions giving him 203 for his career.

The Commonwealth’s other team playing Division 1 football, the Eagles of Boston College, continue to play Kryptonite defense, but has an offense that looks like it came from the Stone Age; as BC (3-2) fell to Duke in the rain at Durham: 9-7.

The Eagles had a chance to take the lead late in the fourth-quarter, but the 45-yard field goal attempt in tough conditions, by freshman kicker Colton Lichtenberg sailed wide left.

In Gainesville, Florida its “Happy Days Are Here Again,” in the Swamp as the Gators shocked and dominated the Rebels of ‘Ole Miss; 38-10.

The victory gave first year Coach Jim McElwain a signature victory, and he is first coach since Steve Spurrier in 1990, to start a Florida season 5-0.

The win propels the Gators into the lofty top-ten atmosphere, and it had been since 1999 the last time the Gators had defeated a team at home that possessed such a lofty #3 ranking.  Good for them!!

In LA, it was a season saving victory for Todd “The Texter” Graham, as the Sun Devils as Arizona State surprised the Bruins of UCLA; 38-23, knocking UCLA from its undefeated perch.

On Friday night our pal, Columbia’s new coach Al Bagnoli saw his rain-soaked squad lose once again, this time to the Tigers of Princeton: by the baseball score: 10-5.

It was Columbia’s, or as we refer to them “The Charlie Browns of Morningside Heights” 24 consecutive loss.  But trust us, Bagnoli will end that run of ineptitude before the season is over.

In Athens, to paraphrase the “WHO” it was meet the Bulldogs, same as the old Bulldogs, as once again in a big game, Georgia’s Coach Mark Richt squad was embarrassed, this time by the Tide of Alabama: 38-10.  OUCH!!!

Nick Saban’s Boys came into this game as an underdog for the first time in 5-years, a span of 72 games, and as long as St. Nick continues to prowl the Tuscaloosa sideline it’s hard to imagine there will be a “next” time.

What a performance!!  The Tide is very much back in the playoff discussion.

Nice Story building in Iowa City, as the Hawkeyes and its often embattled coach Kirk Ferentz are 5-0, courtesy of its defensive 10-6 victory over Wisconsin.

It was the fewest points scored by a Badger team since 2003!!  It’s way too early, but Maybe Paul Chryst isn’t the answer.

In Death Valley, again in the rain, the luck of the Irish finally ran out but not without great comeback.

ND almost pulled off another miracle falling a two-point conversion short, after trailing 21-3, of sending the game into overtime before losing to Clemson; 24-22.

The Domers killed themselves by turning the ball over four-times in the second half, and Dabo Swinney’s Tigers put itself directly into the playoff conversation.

Afterward an emotional Swinney called it a BYOG, “Bring you own guts,” and that’s exactly what Clemson did in stopping the Irish in its two-point game-tying try.   WOW!!!

Finally in the spirit of that pompous gasbag Charlie Weis, the Jayhawks of Kansas (0-4), arguable the worst program in Division 1, and the last program Weis ruined, were trotted by Iowa State; 38-13!!  Sorry Charlie!!!

That’s it from cyber-space.  We’ll be up and running with our analysis of week 6 Wednesday night.  Until then, Peace, and listen to the music.  PK

At Duke, the chance of rain determines the price of your ticket!

We begin this week with an impending hurricane, a time frame, the percentage of expected rain, and the price of a ticket.

With Hurricane Joaquin (What happened to the American names for hurricanes??!! – Sorry, I wanted to sound like Donald Trump) threatening the Carolina Coast, Duke’s Administration decided to adjust its ticket prices for Saturday’s mid-afternoon game against Boston College by playing a game of weather roulette.

Starting on Wednesday, the athletic department looks at the weather forecast to see what the chance of rain will be on Saturday.

The readings are taken at 8:30 a.m. and 1 p.m. each day.  The biggest discount will be if there is a 90-percent chance or greater of rain.  In that case, the general admission ticket, regularly $25 will be discounted in half to: $12.50.

The smallest discount, 10-percent comes if there is less than a 30 percent chance of rain for the game.

“Fans can decide to lock in their ticket now, or roll the dice and wait,” said Chris Alston, director of football marketing for the school.

The rain amounts are of little concern for the Dukies whose new field has the capacity to drain 8 to 10 inches per hour.

This weekend let’s see which teams drown out the noise, and blow away the opposition, and which gets a bargain on its tickets, but pays a high price with another loss.

No. 13 Alabama at No. 8 Georgia (Ch.4, 3:30 p.m.) It’s appropriate that in the “year of the tailback” a pair of All-America John Deere earth movers are featured in this game.

And for the first time in over five years, a span of 72-games, Alabama will find itself running out of the tunnel as an underdog.

There is even some grumbling in Groucho’s favorite town, that the “Tuscaloosa Titan” Saint Nick has lost a little off his fastball.  We’ll see.

Alabama’s offense led by senior QB Jake Coker (8 TDs-4 INTs) has drifted as far off course as the USS Minnow, and against Georgia, is facing a bigger challenge than Volkswagen trying to salvage its reputation.

Luckily the QB can lean heavily on the tailback duo of All-America Derrick Henry, and his turbo-charged partner Kenyan Drake, to hoist a substantial load.

The receivers of the Sons of Ray Perkins; Calvin Ridley, and ArDarius Stewart, are one the job trainees hoping to someday rise to the standards of Amari Cooper.

The Tide’s D also an enigma has been as puzzling as Bobby Fischer in self-imposed exile.

It possesses more talent than the stage at Woodstock stoning runners behind a pair of All-Americas backer Reggie Ragland, and nose A’Shawn Robinson, but has struggled mightily defending the pass, and has allowed a jaw-dropping 40-points in 3 of its last 7 games.

A victory moves the Bulldogs into elite status, and legitimate playoff contenders, but as the Athens faithful are painfully aware, in recent years, these are the games in which Coach Mark Richt has coughed-up a fur ball.

The Sons of Hershel Walker gallop on the legs of the best tailback duo in America; All-America, and Heisman contender Nick Chubb, (averaging 149 yds. – who tied Hershel for most consecutive 100-yard games by a Bulldog at a dozen) and his partner Sony Michel.

While these Georgian peaches average over 7-yards a pop and have combined for over 800 yards and 10-TDs, junior QB Greyson Lambert (7 TDs – 0 INTs – 76%) has hit his targets better than the pickup drivers in “Easy Rider” lasering on his game changer; Malcolm Mitchell.

The Dawgs D, anchored by a trio of backers: Leonard Floyd, Jordan Jenkins, and Tim Kimbrough has played with the intensity of Donald Trump toward Carly Fiorina, or Mayor Marty Walsh toward the Wynn Corporation.

In a game that will have more hits than a Beatles convention, we think the Athens sound system serenades its faithful with the Ray Charles classic; “Georgia on My Mind,” as the Dawgs claim its biggest victory since the Vince Dooley championship year of:1980.

No.6 Notre Dame at No.12 Clemson (Ch.5, 8 p.m.) It’s been a glorious stretch for Notre Dame.

The Irish remain on a green path toward a playoff invite, and last week its President, Fr. John Jenkins had a visit with the world’s biggest rock star; the Bishop of Rome, Pope Francis.

On the gridiron, the Sons of Paul Hornung have flattened the opposition behind its road-grading ground attack featuring C.J. Proise (averaging 8 yds a pop – and 150 per game) and his quality assistant Josh Adams, who is also an 8-yard per carry man.

The director of the entire operation is r-shirt freshman QB DeShone Kizer (5 TDs-2 INTs) whose surprising maturity has put a smile on the visage of “Touchdown Jesus.”

The kid’s principle target wideout Will Fuller (20-yards a grab) scores a touchdown (6) almost as quickly as another email account engulfs Hillary Clinton.

The Domers D, featuring All-America backer Jaylon Smith, his partner Joe Schmidt who is also All-America worthy, along with safety Elijah Shumate has been stouter than NY Cardinal Timothy Dolan.

The Clemson Tigers are as mysterious as Republican Presidential candidate Jim Gilmore, the former Governor of Virginia.

Are they legitimate ACC title threats? Or like the Gov, simply jousting at windmills?

The Sons of James Dickey are under the command of its dynamic dual-threat QB Deshaun Watson (7 TDs-3INTs-74%) with assists from its bell cow tailback Wayne Gallman, and a trio of field stretchers; Artavis Scott, Ray-Ray McCloud, and Charone Peake.

The Tigers fuel-injected D featuring a pair of ends Shaq Lawson, his partner Kevin Dodd, along backer B.J. Goodson ranks ninth overall, and is solid in all phases.

We think the spirit of Francis continues to shine the spotlight on the Congregation of the Holy Cross, as the Irish high step into the national title conversation.

No.23 West Virginia at No.15 Oklahoma (FS1, Noon) To paraphrase Dorothy from the “Wizard of Oz,” the Mountaineers are about to quickly find out, that they’re not in John Denver Country anymore.

After a diet of victory sweeteners, the Sons of Don Nehlen march into Memorial Stadium to see if it can digest a humongous entrée of protein.

The ‘Neers ludicrous-speed attack, courtesy of its mad-scientist Dana Holgersen, is directed by its dual-threat QB Skyler Howard (9 TDs-1 INT) with assists from the tailback combo; Wendell Smallwood and Rushel Shell.

When the WV dart-thrower goes aerial, Shelton Gibson, Jordan Thompson, and Javon Durante are dangerous field-stretchers.

The seasoned D, led by All-America safety Karl Joseph, and backers Jared Barber, and Nick Kwiatkowski has dramatically closed the Deval Patrick budget-sized gaps that plagued West Virginia in previous years.

In Norman the “Air-Raid” attack under the command of its talented bombardier QB Baker (10 TDs-2INTs-67%) Mayfield is in full bloom.

The OU Rifleman is assisted by a trio of glue-fingered receivers led by the nonpareil Sterling Shepard, who should be doing commercials for “Elmers.”

The ground attack featuring Samaje Perine and Joe Mixon is solid, but nowhere near as vintage as the championship years of glories past.

As the Norman faithful are painfully aware the Sooners D, featuring a pair of All-Americas; backer Eric Striker, and corner Zack Sanchez have often shown as much discipline as a Kardashian toward a camera, but will be the eleven that will ultimately determine the heights to which the OU season climbs.

The Sons of Bud Wilkerson under “Big Game Bob” are always its most dangerous when the least is expected.  Forget John Denver, on Saturday it will be Oscar Hammerstein’s “Oklahoma, OK!”

No.3 Mississippi at No. 25 Florida (ESPN, 7 p.m.) The question lingeringly filters through the leafy Grove in the center of the Oxford campus; Are the Rebels really this good?

The Sons of Archie and Eli Manning will be tested again, this time in the hyper-amped night atmosphere of the Gainesville Swamp.

And in the spirit of those ‘Ole Miss gunfighters, the Rebs latest sharpshooter Chad Kelly (10TDs-3 INTs-61%) also carries special pedigree, as the nephew of Buffalo Bills Hall of Fame QB Jim Kelly.

The ground support is provided by tailbacks Jaylen Walton, and Jordan Wilkins, while a pair of All-Americas; Laquon Treadwell, tight end Evan Engram, along with Cody Core have displayed better hands than Michelangelo.

But it’s on the defensive side of the ball where the Sons of Jimmy Patton have the strongest pour.

All-America tackle Robert Nkemdiche, one of the nation’s most feared disruptors anchors of this sledge hammer eleven, with assists from backer Denzel Nkemdiche, and safety Trae Elston.

In Gainesville the Sons of Steve Spurrier have a renewed optimism courtesy of its newly minted Coach Jim McElwain.

The Gators may also have found its QB in gritty, slippery slasher, Will Grier, who is tougher than a $5 steak.

Tailback Kelvin Taylor is the Gators lead dog, while wideouts Brandon Powell, Demarcus Robinson, and tight end Jake McGee provide big play targets.

The penurious D is anchored by end Jonathan Bullard who plays with the anger of a grammar school nun towards, well take your pick, with assists from All-America corner Vernon Hargreaves, and backer Jarrad Davis.

At the final gun, we think the Ole Miss faithful will be treated to the Jesse Winchester classic; “Mississippi Your on My Mind,” as the Sons of William Faulkner write another successful chapter.

No.1 Ohio State at Indiana (ESPN2, 3:30 p.m.) In Columbus, at least so far, it appears the smooth running Porsche of the Sons of Woody Hayes’s has been traded for a Volkswagen diesel.

The Buckeyes, who have more talent than a Miss Universe contest, have underachieved, and are sputtering worse than the campaign of Jeb Bush.

To paraphrase Ross Perot, after a quick inspection under the hood it appears there is a crossed wire at quarterback.

Both starter Cardale Jones (4 TDs- 4 INTs – 57%), and his starry backup J.T. Barrett (2 TDs-2 INTs – 55%), have performed as inconsistently as the foreign policy of the United States.

Inexplicably, the Bucks best athlete, Braxton Miller, has been like an extra in “Lost in Space.”

The game changer has stunningly only had a total of 28 touches, which is something that the Sons of Archie Griffin must fix quickly.

It has also been slow going for All-America tailback Ezekiel Elliott, while wideouts Michael Thomas, and Curtis Samuel have played like they are still low on the learning curve.

The Bucks dynamic D sporting a trio of All-Americas; end Joey Bosa, tackle Adolphus Washington, and safety Vonn Bell, has been the backbone for the Boys from Columbus.

It’s been quite some time since the Hoosiers have appeared in this space.  Probably because it’s been a-quarter-of-a-century since it began a season; 4-0.

The Sons of John Pont (the only Indiana Coach to take the Hoosiers to the rose Bowl -1967) are directed by its talented senior QB Nate Sudfield (7 TDs- 1 INT -61%) with assists from starry tailback Jordan Howard, who leads the nation in rushing, and a trio of receivers led by game breaker Ricky Jones who averages 22-yards a pop, with 3 TDs.

Coach Kevin Wilson’s D anchored by end Nick Mangieri, and a pair of ball-hawking backers; Marcus Oliver and T.J. Simmons has improved, but remains on the porous side sitting last in the Conference.

We think the Buckeyes will be tested early, but ultimately, they leave Bloomington singing “Goodbye Columbus” to the much improved Hoosiers of Indiana.  .

Last week’s record: 2-3                                Season record: 10-10

That’s it from cyber space.  Be sure to read our recap which will be up and running by Noon on Sunday.  Until then, Peace, and listen to the music.   PK

Texas Tech, Tennessee, Texas, stunned, Oregon, Arizona crushed, UMass rolled by Notre Dame, Harvard wins 16th in row!

Are you kidding me!!

That is the sentiment echoing around the “Sunday morning coming down” noggins of the faithful in Knoxville, Lubbock, Fayetteville, Austin, Eugene, and Tempe.

On paper it looked like a mundane college football Saturday, but by late Saturday night it was a “Nightmare on Elm Street,” for those aforementioned losers.

“Gomer Pyle” would have summarized the day this way: “Shazam, Shazam, Shazam!”

In Gainesville, the Gators were all but down and out trailing 27-14 with a shade more than five minutes left.

And that is when analyst Gary Danielson (not our fav) said, “Remember there are still a lot of demons that Tennessee must slay before this is over.”

Well the demons won out as UT Coach Butch Jones was stricken with brain cramps as the Gators stormed from behind to stun the Vols 28-27 continuing its mastery over UT which has now stretched to 11 consecutive years.

It was the second time this season that Tennessee saw a 13-point lead evaporate late in the fourth quarter, but this one will be tough to get over.

The winning touchdown came on a fourth and fourteen play, which ended up being a 63-yard TD reception to Antonio Callaway with 1:26 left on the clock.

On the previous three plays the Vols blitzed or pressured the Gators QB Will Grier, but inexplicably on fourth and forever sat back putting a spy on the QB, who had all day to find an open receiver, and “Boom” the rest is history.

Jones is also getting crushed for not going for the 2-point conversion late in the game to make it a two-TD (14 point) lead.

As well as for his ridiculously conservative play calling while nursing a skinny 6-point lead.

OUCH!!!  This one will sting for a long time.

Note: Tennessee lined up for a 55-yard game winning field goal, which had the distance, but just sailed wide right.

In the home of Buddy Holly, Lubbock, Texas it was, as expected, a classic Texas shootout as TCU kept its playoff chances on life support with a thrilling 55-52 come-from-behind victory against the Red Raiders of Texas Tech.

The winning touchdown came on a fourth and goal tipped pass that was snatched by Aaron Green in the back of the end zone with; 23 seconds left for the crushing, or glorious, defeat or victory depending on whose colors one was wearing.

Texas A@M at Jerry’s House (Home of the Dallas Cowboys) needed a late two-point conversion to force overtime then scored the winner in overtime to stun the “Gasbaggers” otherwise known as the Razorbacks of Arkansas: 28-21.

Coach Bret Bielema’s Hogs, who fought hard have not brought home the bacon and are now an undersized: 1-3 to start, what was supposed to be a promising season in Home of Frank Broyles.

In Austin it hasn’t been this bad since before the arrival of Darrel Royal.  DOUBLE YIKES!!

The last time the Horns sat 1-3 to begin a season, Dwight Eisenhower was in the White House 1956, and Texas is now 7-10 under Coach Charlie Strong, and a woeful 5-22 in its last 27 against ranked opponents.  TRIPLE YIKES!!!

There is blame aplenty for the Sons of Earl Campbell as Texas compiled an unfathomable 16 penalties including a late game 15-yard personal foul on Strong which led to the Ok State tying field goal.

That can’t and should not happen!!

The winning field goal came when Texas punter Michael Dickson, a rugby style kicker fumbled the snap and scuffed a 10-yard punt giving the Cowboys a stunning game-ending regulation win; a 40-yard field goal with 6 seconds left.  Down goes the Horns!!  WOW!!

How bad are things in Austin?

Oklahoma State is the first team in history to win four consecutive times in Austin!!  OUCH!!

Where’s Mack Brown when you need him??!!

Maybe the Utes of Utah are the best team in the country!!

Its opening season win over Michigan is looking better and better, but its 62-20 crush job Saturday night in Eugene, courtesy of QB Travis Wilson against the “wingless” Ducks of Eugene grabbed everyone’s attention.

It was Oregon’s worst home loss since Jimmy Carter was strolling the halls of the White House – 1977- a 54-0 whitewashing by Washington.

And the most points ever surendered by the Green from Eugene at home.  YIKES!!!

Where’s Chip Kelly when you need him??!!

In Tempe Coach Rich Rod’s Cats showed what happens after gorging on too many cupcakes to open the season.

In what was billed as a Pac-12 showdown, quickly evolved into a declawing as the Bruins of UCLA, who are looking more and more like a playoff contender, went out and toyed: 56-30 with the Wildcats like they were a bunch of catnip.   OUCH!!

It was a desert storm performance by the visitors as its freshman QB Josh Rosen played like an All-American.

On the local front the teammates: Tim Murphy of Harvard, and Buddy Teevens of Dartmouth continued their winning ways as the Crimson crushed the Brown Bears 53-27, impressively running its FCS winning streak to 16 games, the longest in the nation.

It its 115th meeting between the Ivy neighbors it was the most points compiled by the Sons of Joe Restic since its initial meeting in 1893.  WOW!!!

Tim Murphy is one hell of a football coach.  And should have been at BC when O’Brien left, but that is a story for another day.

The Commonwealth’s other Division 1 eleven ventured into South Bend and played a tremendous first half before falling to possibly one of the nation’s best in Notre Dame; 62-27.

Mark Whipple’s Amherst charges were unable to slow the Irish ground assault surrounding over 450 rushing yards!!  YIKES!!!

Mark Whipple (0-3) should also be coaching at BC, but again that is a story for another time.

Our pal Al Bagnoli now ensconced with the job of turning around the fate of Columbia football, aka the “Charlie Browns of Morningside Heights” lost to Georgetown 24-21 running Columbia streak of ineptitude to 23 straight.

It was a game that many thought would end the streak, but with the Pope just in town, it was all Jesuits all the time.

Nice story in Bloomington as the Hoosiers of Indiana 4-0 have its longest winning streak in 25-years good for them.  The Sons of John Pont need just a pair of wins to become bowl eligible.

While Big Brother in West Lafayette, Purdue lost yet again (1-3) as the coaching seat of Darrell Hazell (5-23) in his 2 plus years at the helm is hotter than the rhetoric spewing from Bernie Sanders.

We close with the spirit of Charlie Weis as Kansas (0-3) the last team he ruined, and now one of the nation’s worst fell to Rutgers: 27-14.  Sorry Charlie!!!

That’s it from cyber-space.  We’ll be up and running with our analysis of week 5 Wednesday night.  Until then, Peace, and listen to the music.  Pk

Meeting Yogi, and our favorite Yogisms!!

We begin this week by crossing sporting lines and giving our tribute to an American treasure, and one of the great all-time characters; the beloved Yogi Berra

The Hall of Fame catcher was an All-Star for 15 consecutive seasons, won 10 World Championships with the Yankees, and was a three-time American League MVP.

I remember meeting Yogi as a ten-year old kid.

It was on a Patriots Day and the Sox-Yanks game scheduled for that morning was canceled because of snow.  So my pals and I ventured over to the old “Statler Hilton,” now the “Park Plaza,” which was the place where the Yankees always stayed.

There sitting in the middle of the lobby reading the paper was none other than Yogi, and as we surrounded him for an autograph, which he graciously signed, I asked him what he thought of our new left fielder, Tony Conigliaro.

Without missing a beat Yogi responded, “I haven’t seen him enough to give you a comment,” said the Hall of Famer simply.

We all have our favorite Yogisms and here are mine:

Yogi roomed with Doctor Bobby Brown, a cardiologist, who attended Tulane Med-School in the offseason.

One night Yogi went out to get a pizza, and the guy at the counter asked Yogi how many slices he wanted, 4 or 8.  Without hesitation Berra said, “You better make it 4, I’m not that hungry.”

The other involved Mickey Mantle and a charity golf tournament that Mick was sponsoring.

Mantle, who was supposed to be playing with Yogi was steaming, because Berra was late.

Finally about a half-hour after their scheduled tee-time in strolls Yogi.  The aggravated Mantle says, “Yogi, where you been?   You were supposed to be here a half-hour ago!”

Berra replies: “I was at a funeral.  Remember Mick, if you don’t go to theirs, they won’t go to yours.”  Brilliant.

This weekend let’s see which teams show some real character on the field, then celebrate with slices of pizza, and which use utilize a game plan of such confounding logic, it leaves the opposition’s alums looking like they’re at a funeral.

No.9 UCLA at No.16 Arizona (Ch. 5, 8 p.m.) These are not your father’s Bruins.

Unlike the UCLAn elevens of recent vintage, these Sons of Tommy Prothro are forged with confidence, and play a stout physical attacking style.  [Although the loss (knee) of backer Myles Jack is devastating on the field, and in the locker room.]

The shift in style is a reflection of the personality of Coach Jim Mora.

The soul of the run orientated Rose Bowlers is tailback Paul Perkins, who, while deserving of Heisman conversation, plays with the anonymity of democratic presidential candidate Lawrence Lessig.

[Who? – Harvard law professor.]

The director of these Pac-12 title challengers is t-freshman QB josh Rosen (5 TDs-4 INTs) who fortunately is comforted by chain-movers; Jordan Payton, and Thomas Duarte.  But this game will be a test of PhD proportions for the kid.

The D of the Sons of James Dean is anchored by a pair of backers; Isaako Savaiinaea, Kenny Young who smack harder than Bernie Sanders verbally assaulting the corporate world of banking.

In the desert, Coach Rich Rod’s turbo-charged Wildcats score quicker than a young Mick Jagger, but after an overindulgence of three consecutive cupcakes its mettle will be tested Saturday night.

Cats QB Anu Solomon (10 TDs-0 INTs – 68%) has hit his targets better than Wyatt Earp, and the Zona sharp-shooter has a passel of glue-fingered targets featuring: Davis Richards, Cayleb Jones, and Johnny Jackson, while tailback Nick Wilson – (7 yds. a carry) can slice any defense.

The D led end Reggie Gilbert, safety Will Parks and backer Jake Matthew [note: All-America backer Sooby Wright may play – torn meniscus] has struggled mightily stopping the run.

This is another dangerous test for Mora’s Marauders, and in a very close game, we think the other team from LA finds an oasis in the desert.

No.18 Utah at No.13 Oregon (FOX, 8:30 p.m.) The marrow behind the Sons of Lee Grosscup (The “Cupper” Utah ’58 was a shovel pass artesian – and longtime TV analyst) is tailback Devontae Booker, a fiery sparkplug who runs more violently than a 3 a.m. Friday night party in “the community.”

But the rest of the Utes offensive attack has been as barren as a reservoir in California.

QB Travis Wilson (shoulder sprain – expected to play) is the director of Utah’s bottom feeding passing game which has been as inept at the Massachusetts Department of Children and Families.

When it does connect, wideouts Britain Covey, Kenneth Scott, and tight end Siale Fakailoatonga are the principle targets.

The seasoned D anchored by end Hunter Dimick, and backers Jared Norris and Gionni Paul has been anointed as: “Sack Lake City” but this season has been as ineffective as Hillary’s new “warm and fuzzy” persona.

Amazingly, the Sons of Dan Fouts seem to be flying under the radar.

And the most scrutinized digit in Eugene, this side of Lady Gaga flashing the “bird” to a group of photographers at a Mets game in 2010, or the Giants John Pierre-Paul blowing his off on the 4th of July, is the broken index finger on the throwing hand of QB Vernon Adams. (Jeff Lockie – backup).

The tone setting steam engine for the Sons of Phil Knight U is tailback Royce Freeman, and while Adams’ family of receivers isn’t “creepy and kooky…” it is dangerous, led by Bralon Addison, and Dwayne Stanford.

The D of the Sons of Bill Gore [inventor of Gore-tex] featuring backers Joe Walker, Rodney Hardrick, and end DeForest Buckner is stouter than previous years, but still has some significant fissures.

Ultimately, we think the cleated disciples of “Mr. Nike” aka Phil Knight, Duck over the visitors from Salt Lake City.

No.3 TCU at Texas Tech (FOX, 4:45 p.m.) The Horned Frogs are riding the nation’s second longest (11) winning streak with only the Buckeyes string of 16 standing in its way.

The Froggies “keeper-of-the-flame” is its dual threat Heisman candidate QB Trevone Boykin (10 TDs-3 INTs) who has better leadership qualities than the entire Democratic field.

I realize that isn’t saying too much!!

When the “air-raid” bombardier takes a breather, elusive Nebraska transfer Aaron Green runs downhill better than Billy Rodgers.

Unfortunately, for the future Sunday performer the field-stretchers; Josh Doctson, and Kolby Listenbee might have careers better suited as salesmen for; “Butterfingers.”

The Frogs D anchored by tackle Aaron Curry (another Nebraska transfer), and safety Denzel Johnson has suffered more injuries than the customers sitting in the window of a Dunkin Donuts after another octogenarian “mistakenly” stepped on the gas.

It is hard envision the Sons of Sammy Baugh will survive the season unscathed with such a depleted injury-riddled defense.

Like its native son Buddy Holly, the swagger has returned to the Red Raiders of Lubbock.

The high-riding Sons of E.J. Holub are directed by its dual-threat QB Pat Mahomes (9 TDS-3 INTs) with assists from receivers Jakeem Grant, and Ian Sadler, while DeAndre Washington, and Justin Stockton are quality road-graders.

The key to the turnaround for the Sons of John Denver has been ball protection which last year dropped to one rung from the cellar.

The opportunistic D features safety Jah’shawn Johnson, end Pete Robertson, and backer Dakota Allen.

We think TT stops the streak severely damaging TCU’s chances for a playoff, while the Lubbock faithful serenade its conquering heroes with one of Buddy Holly’s greatest: “That’ll be the day ….”

No.14 Texas A&M vs Arkansas (ESPN, 6 p.m.)Jerry’s World Arlington, Texas   As we have mentioned, Coach Kevin Sumlin’s best off-season move was enticing defensive coordinator John Chavis to leave the confines of Baton Rouge (LSU) and $ign on with the Aggies at College Station.

Thanks to his wizardry, the A@M D, which once had gaps larger than a gushing BP oil pipe, or Deval Patrick’s budget, is now tighter than a manhole cover on the Central Park motorcade route for Pope Francis.

The Sons of Lyle Lovett sing along in a high energy spread attack that is orchestrated by QB Kyle Allen (9 TDs-2 INTs), with large assists from tailback Tra Carson, and the “good-hands” threesome; Christian Kirk, Ricky Seals-Jones, and Josh Reynolds.

The reconditioned D is anchored by All-America end Myles Garrett, his partner Daeshon Hall, and safety Armani Watts, who isn’t afraid to add grass stains to his uniform.

It’s early, but the Sons of Jerry Jones have been butchered like hogs.

The Razorbacks are one of the early season disappointments (1-2), and since his arrival in Fayetteville Coach Bret Bielema, aka “Mr. Gasbag,” hasn’t conjured up Frank Broyles memories with his 11-17 “rebuilding” record.

The “old school” Hogs run like John Riggins feeding its thoroughbred tailback; Alex Collins.

QB Brandon Allen, the Razorbacks senior signal caller lost his favorite target last week leaving JoJo Robinson, and Drew Morgan as the next men up.

The D anchored by backer Brooks Ellis, and tackle Jeremiah Ledbetter, struggles getting off the field surrendering a hideous better than fifty-percent of opponent’s third-down conversions.  And that my friends, is a suicidal formula against the Aggies.

This is a tortoise versus hare type of game, we’ll take the Hare, as the Gasbag’s Hogs, and Jerry’s alma-mater, are bacon once again.

Tennessee at Florida (Ch.4, 3:30 p.m.) As the Checkerboard faithful are painfully aware, its Sons of Johnny Majors have rolled snake-eyes 10 consecutive times versus the Gators.

For Coach Butch Jones, and the cache of the UT season, this game carries the same sense of importance as the hairstylist for Donald Trump.

QB Joshua Dobbs is the Rocky Top game changer assisted by road scorchers Jalen Hurd, and Alvin Kamara, who burn with the fury of a Cape Canaveral launch.

When the Knoxville leader locks on, he has a trio of chain movers; Josh Malone, Preston Williams, and tight end Ethan Wolf.

The Vols D, anchored by backer Jalen Reeves-Maybin, and end Derek Barnett, attacks from all angles, but its secondary is as vulnerable as a boat overflowing with Syrian refugees attempting to cross the Aegean Sea.

These are not your father’s Gators.

These Sons of Tim Tebow are seemingly younger than Michael Jackson when he burst on the scene with the “Jackson Five.”

With 17 true-freshmen on its roster, newly minted Coach Jim McElwain said that it is the youngest eleven of which he’s ever been associated.

As the Gator Nation is tortuously aware, since “Mr. Heisman” departed Gainesville, the Swamp’s QB’s have performed as inconsistently as the Iraqi “Army.”

As it currently stands, Will Grier holds a slight edge over Treaon Harris (suspended), but the coach is quick to point out that the decision remains as solid as the core of a volcano.  Although the suspension may have altered that permanently.

The shifty Kelvin Taylor is the Gators principle “Swamp fox,” while wideouts Demarcus Robinson, and Brandon Powell are solid targets.

The D anchored by backers Jarrad Davis, Antonio Morrison, and end Jonathan Bullard stones runners, and has been the bedrock to the Gators solid start to the season.

In a game that is very difficult to get a handle, we think that Tennessee becomes another streak whisperer, and finds a way to a hard earned season changing victory.

Last week: 2-3                                    Season record: 8-7

That’s it from cyber-space.  We’ll be up and running with our recap by Noon on Sunday.  Until then, Peace, and listen to the music.  PK

UMass loses heartbreaker, Alabama, USC go down, UCLA. Harvard, Dartmouth win

To paraphrase Howard Cosell “Down Goes Alabama!!  Down Goes USC!!!”

‘Ole Miss is for real!!!

When the Mississippi lead zoomed to 19 (43-24) with ten-minutes left in the fourth quarter, the Alabama “faithful” swarmed toward the exits in classic front runner style.

It looked like a refugee march to Hungary!!

WOW!!  I bet that sat well with Nick Saban.

In was the antitheses of the song by Blonde; “The Tide is high but I’m holding on, I want to be your number one, number one…”  Not this year!!

The Sons of Bear Bryant, who fought back before ultimately losing 43-37, have now allowed over 40 points in 3 of its last 6 games.  Shocking!!

But it was a special night for the Sons of Archie Manning.

“Ole Miss had been 0-16 all-time against number 2-ranked AP teams.  Not anymore!

It had never beaten Alabama twice in a row.  Not anymore!

Alabama had won 17-consecutive home games.  OVER!!

And it was Bama’s first home loss to the Boys from Oxford since the last months of the Reagan Administration – 1988.  OUCH!!

And its hopes for another SEC Championship, and a playoff invite, while still alive, are as damaged as Felix Arroyo’s chances of getting reelected to the Boston City Council.

After USC’s bitter 41-31 loss to unranked Stanford, (a 10-point underdog), the coaching seat of USC Coach Steve Sarkisian, particularly after his drunken appearance in front of alums and boosters at the annual Salute to Troy season kickoff, is warmer than the anticipated reception for Joe Biden when he decides to take on Hillary.

The Men of Troy are now 11-5 (3-losses to unranked teams) during his short tenure, and there is an undercurrent of restlessness amongst its faithful, especially since the Trojans D looked softer than the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

Where is Ed Orgeron (Coach O sparked USC after Lane Kiffin was fired 2-years ago. then was bypassed in favor of Sarkisian) when you need him??!!

On the local front, Harvard’s Tim Murphy’s continues to showcase his tremendous skills as a coach, and recruiter, as the Crimson have now won 15 in a row with its season opening 41-10 rout of the Rams of Rhode Island.

A little way up North, Coach Buddy Teevens, (Murphy’s best friend) and the Big Green of Dartmouth knocked off the Hoyas of Georgetown 31-10, in their first meeting since the Administration of Woodrow Wilson-1916.

If there are no snags on the road, the winner of the October 30, Friday night game at the Stadium between the two former Silver Lake Regional High teammates, might be for the Ivy League Championship.

Down the street in Avon, the Skyhawks of Stonehill crushed the Setters of Pace (Is there a worse nickname?) 51-13 remaining a perfect 3-0, and 2-0 in the NE-10.  Good for them.

For Mark Whipple’s Belle’s of Amherst, it was, as Yogi once said; “Deja-vu all over again” as the 0-2 Minutemen amazingly once again found a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory!!

With 1:20 left in the fourth quarter, UMass has just taken a 23-20 lead against a very good Temple Owl team, courtesy of a 16 yard touchdown pass by QB Blake Frohnapfel.

But the snake bitten (maybe it’s paying for the sins of John Calipari) school from Emily Dickenson’s home town lined up for the innocuous extra-point, which would have giving them a 4 point lead and probable victory.

But as Lee Corso might say; “Not so fast my friend!”

Temple not only blocked the attempt, but scooped it up returning it all the way for a 2-point conversion narrowing the UMass lead to a spaghetti thin single digit: 23-22.

Needless to say, the Sons of Joe Klecko, who should be ranked for the first time since the Carter Administration – 1979, drove down the field and kicked the game winning 32 yard field goal.

“It’s just football,” said a wizened Mark Whipple.  Hopefully, he can hold the locker room together.

On Friday night at Chestnut Hill, the Eagles, especially the defense of coordinator Don Brown, gave the Seminoles of Florida State all it could handle before falling; 14-0.

BC also lost starting QB Darius Wade to a broken ankle and the hope here is that Troy Flutie gets the opportunity to showcase his skills as the starter.

The Boys from Storrs, Connecticut put up a quite a fight in a 9-6 loss to the Tigers of Missouri.

The Huskies a 21-point underdog lined up for the game-tying field 42-yard goal, but instead went for the win on the fake only to have it intercepted.

But Coach Bob Diaco sent a great message to his kids, that this is a program that intends to win.

Back on the national scene;

The Tigers of LSU, led by its Heisman candidate tailback Leonard Fournette; 228 yards- 3 TDs – 19 carries look like the Beast of the SEC West, rushing for an jaw-dropping 411 yards, in its 45-21 crush-job against Auburn.

But there remains concern amongst the faithful of Baton Rouge regarding the passing attack.

Another potential playoff team continues to sail under a full mast, as the Aggies of A@M rolled over Nevada 44-27.

It was the 19th consecutive nonconference victory, the longest such streak in the nation for the Sons of John David Crow.

Things are so bleak in West Lafayette, Indiana that the Boilermakers of Purdue made the offensively challenged Hokies of Virginia Tech look like the Joe Montana ‘49ers; as VaTech crushed the Sons of Bob Griese 44-17.   YIKES!!!!

In what might be the year of the tailback; Georgia’s sophomore sensation, Nick Chubb (159 yards – 2 TDs) “ran” his streak of consecutive 100-yard plus games to eleven, (one behind all-time Bulldogs’ all-time leader Hershel Walker), as the crew from Athens smoked the hapless Gamecocks of South Carolina: 52-20.  YIKES!!

This could be the beginning of the end for the “Head Ball Coach.”

How bad are things in Texas?  Shades of UMass bad!!!

Well, in a stirring comeback, led by its new-found QB Jerrod Heard, and just couple of days after the stagnant air engulfing the athletic program was cleared by the resignation of its arrogant, and aloof athletic director Steve Patterson, the Horns lined up for the late fourth quarter game tying extra point.

But instead of potentially turning its season around, the extra-point attempt by Nick Rose, was, instead of the Yellow Rose of Texas good,  fully blackened, as the kick sailed wide, and the Horns devastatingly left Royal Field felled by the a single point 45-44.  Amazing!!

The “real’ team from L.A., the Bruins of UCLA, in a stirring come-from-behind victory knocked off a resilient bunch of BYU Cougars: 24-23 led by another of the country’s scintillating backs; Paul Perkins who rushed for 219 yards on 26 carries.

The Sons of Mark Harmon are positioned to make a legitimate run at the Pac-12 title, and may play its way into a playoff invite.  Bruins Coach Jim Mora called it his most significant victory.

Finally, we return to the gasbag stage of Arkansas Coach Bret Bielema, who now finds his Razorbacks in desperate need of a victory after losing to Texas Tech 35-24.  “GB” is now facing the distinct prospect of being 1-3 after next week’s game against A&M.  WOW!!!

That’s it from cyber-space.  We’ll be up and running Wednesday night with our analysis of week four.  Until then, Peace, and listen to the music.  PK

Joe Paterno Beer sells out its initial run!!

We begin this week with a barrel of hops, barley, yeast, and water for the brewing of a beer whose brand is steeped in controversy.

Several months ago Mark Dudash, the owner of the Duquesne Brewery, which operates out of Latrobe, Pennsylvania hit on an idea;  he wanted to brew, and sell; Joe Paterno Beer.

As one might imagine, the initial response was one of “skunky” caution, after all, the stench of scandal still hangs over the Happy Valley campus, and making a beer with that moniker might be difficult to swallow.

But Dudash persisted with his mission.

He made a call to George Bradley, the general manager of a local distributor, to gage his interest.

“I must say, initially, there was some resistance.  People didn’t want to be stuck with a product then have a fire-sale to get rid of it,” Bradley stated.

But to paraphrase Claude Rains who said to Bogart in Casablanca, “I am shocked, shocked, to find that gambling is going on in this Café.”  Who could possibly imagine a beer named after Joe Paterno would be a big seller in Pennsylvania!!

Sales have already topped a million cans, and a second batch is being brewed.  “I’ve been in this business for 17 years and I’ve never seen a response to a beer product like this.  My retailers want more, and they want it now,” Bradley exclaimed.

What a country!!  Just think what the sales volume would be without the scandal.

This weekend let’s see which teams toast its victors with a sudsy late night celebration, and which leaves its alums crying in its beer after another desultory loss by “State U.”

No.15 Mississippi at No. 2 Alabama (ESPN, 9:15 p.m.) The Sons of Archie Manning [note: the speed limit on the stately Oxford Campus is 18 mph in honor of Archie’s number] are hoping to write a better story than its renown Pulitzer Prize winning alum, and Oxford resident; William Faulkner.

The faithful are also hoping the latest ‘Ole Miss gunslinger, Chad Kelly (6 TDs-1 INT -72%) continues to channel the “K-Gun” spirit of his HOF uncle, former Buffalo Bills QB Jim Kelly.

The Rebels bombardier has the luxury of targeting a pair of field-stretching wideouts; All-America Laquon Treadwell, and his partner Cody Core, mixed with a seasoned dash of All-America tight end Evan Engram.

The ground attack featuring the tailback tandem of Jaylen Walton, and Eugene Brazley has vastly improved thanks to a seasoned offensive line.

The backbone of the Rebs is a D, which is tougher to penetrate than the Hungarian border and anchored by All-America tackle Robert Nkemdiche, end Marquis Haynes, and nose Isaac Gross.

The Titans from Tuscaloosa, aka: Groucho’s favorite team, are more businesslike than the grey and blue suited Vulcans of the gilded boardroom of Goldman Sachs.

But for many, (not Kenny Hanson) to paraphrase comedian Joe E. Lewis who originally used “Yankees”: “Rooting for Alabama, is like rooting for U.S. Steel.”

The reins of the Bama wagon has been handed to senior QB Jake Coker, who is brilliantly assisted by All-American tailback Derek Henry, and his turbo-charged partner Kenyan Drake, both averaging over a jaw-dropping 7-yards a carry.

When the FSU transfer takes to the Tuscaloosan skies, he lasers on a pair of quality targets; wideout Robert Foster, and a skyscraper in (6-6, 242) tight end O.J. Howard.

But if the Sons of Bart Starr are to earn a second consecutive playoff invite, it will by its kryptonite D, which builds a stronger barrier than the wall between the Palestinians and Israelis and is anchored by a pair of All-Americas; backer Reggie Ragland, and nose A’Shawn Robinson.

The ‘Ole Miss faithful like to shout this cheer: Hotty Toddy, Gosh Almighty, Who the hell are we, Hey! Flim flam, Bim Bam, OLE MISS BY DAMN.

But late Saturday night it will simply be, with apologies to Bill Belichick; on to Louisiana Monroe, the next “business trip” for the undefeated Grouchos of T-Town.

No.14 Georgia Tech at No.8 Notre Dame (Ch.7, 3:30 p.m.) The Ramblin Wreck is precisely that; a wrecking crew.

QB Justin Thomas is the triggerman for Coach Paul Johnson’s triple option, which runs like the Eveready Bunny, and operates like it was designed by a PhD candidate from MIT.

Tech’s turbo-charged earth movers flow like the New York City Marathon runners coming off the Verrazano Bridge, and are led by Marcus Marshall, Patrick Skov, and Brady Swilling.

In the “blue moon” occasion that GT goes aerial, receivers Michael Summers, and TaQuon Marshall are solid targets.

The D of the Sons of Bobby Dodd which is led by backer P.J. Davis, nose Adam Gotsis, and corner D.J. White doesn’t have the sieve-lie quality of years past, particularly in its seasoned secondary.

In South Bend, the diminished playoff hopes of the Irish now rest on the inexperienced arm of r-shirt freshman QB DeShone Kizer.

But faithful of the Sons of Terry Hanratty are hoping that the kid controls the game like a German Kaiser, or at least channels some of the ’66 magic of; Hanratty to Seymour.

(Note: In 1966 both players were on the cover of Time Magazine – which back in those pay-phone days was a very big deal.)

Luckily the “next-man-up” is cocooned by one of the nation’s top offensive lines led by its All-America left tackle Ronnie Stanley.

The kid will also lean heavily on tailback C.J. Prosie, and his touchdown creating wideout Will Fuller.

If the Domers are to be victorious, its blitzing D, led by All-America backer Jaylon Smith, and his partners Joe Schmidt, and Isaac Rochell must force some three-and-outs in hopes of derailing the Jackets train.

In a game with huge national implications, we think it’s the Engineers from Atlanta, in a very close game who design the winning game plan.

No.23 Northwestern at Duke (not on national television: 12:30 p.m.) This is the second edition of the “Smart Kids” Bowl.  The first was the Wildcats season opening victory at home against Stanford.

The Purple Cats are also one of the early season surprises as the small school from the Midwest has not allowed a touchdown in consecutive games for the first time since the Eisenhower Administration – 1958.

Coach Pat Fitzgerald’s squad is directed by dual-threat QB Clayton Thorson, who slices a defense better than a Veg-O-Matic, while sophomore tailback Justin Jackson is the Cats’ meow.

When NU does go aerial, wideouts Christina Jones, and Austin Carr, are a pair of glue-fingered targets.

The defensive strength of the Sons of Ara Parseghian is a secondary featuring Traveon Henry and Goodwin Igwebuike, with an added dash of backer Anthony Walker, and pass rush specialist Ifeadi Odenigbo.

Before Coach David Cutcliffe (one of the nation’s most underrated) arrived in Durham, Duke Football was viewed as just some casual oddity that took place to pass the time before the start of basketball season.

Not anymore.

In fact, the Duke Administration has undertaken a capital improvement program to Wallace Wade Stadium, something that not even Nostradamus could have seen coming.

The Blue Devils are commanded by dual-threat QB Thomas Sirk, who choses from a Phillips Candy House sampler of receivers; Johnell Barnes, T.J. Rahming, and Max McCaffrey.

The Dukies ground attack led by tailbacks Shaun Wilson, and Shaquille Powell isn’t dynamic but are positive yardage churners.

The secondary, led by safety Jeremy Cash, and corner Breaon Borders are quality stoppers in Cutcliffe’s 4-2-5 alignment.

In a game in which the players on both sidelines have scored a bazillion SAT points, we think it’s the Boys from the Midwest who, in a close match “out-Jeopardy” the men from Durham.

Stanford at No.6 USC (Ch.5, 8 p.m.) The Cardinal faithful is hoping that senior QB Kevin Hogan plays more like Heisman alum Jim Plunkett, and not “Colonel Hogan” of “Hogan’s Heroes” fame.

If the “Farm” signal-caller has his GPS in proper working order, wideout Devon Cajuste, and tight end Austin Hooper are chain moving targets.

It’s early, but Stanford’s signature ground attack, which is averaging an agita-inducing 3-yards a pop, has been as uninspiring Boston City Council.

The three-amigos from whom much is expected are: Christian McCaffrey, Barry Sanders Jr., and Redmound Wright.

The revamped D, anchored by backers Blake Martinez, Kevin Anderson, and Peter Kalambayi, tackle better than the security team around Donald Trump.

USC has gorged on a pair of cupcakes, now we’ll see if it can properly digest a main entrée.

As a note: the Cardinal is the Men of Troy’s oldest rival (1905 – Teddy Roosevelt), and additionally, this is the first time since the last days of W (2008), that the Boys from the Farm come into this game unranked.

The surfers from L.A. are under the command of its dart-throwing Heisman hopeful Cody Kessler (7TDs-) 0-INTs-78%) who throws a better bomb than Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate criticizing the Iranian Nuclear Agreement.

This Starry Son of John McKay has the luxury of targeting a future Sunday performer; receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster, but Justin Davis, Ronald Jones, and Tre Madden won’t remind anyone of the glory days of “Tailback U.”

The D led by its All-America backer Su’a Cravens with assists from his linebacker partners; Cameron Smith, and Osa Masina hits harder than a Roy Rice elevator punch.

We think The Boys from the Farm return to Palo Alto with the USC fight song Fight On! stuck in its head.

No.19 BYU at No.10 UCLA (FS1, 10:30 p.m.) This has been a “September to remember” for Cougars QB Tanner Mangum.

Three months ago, the 22 year old was finishing his 2-year mission in Chile, and now, after orchestrating a pair of last second heart-stopping comebacks, he has become the Cinderella of the Provo campus.

The “Mission Impossible” leader is assisted by his primary tailback Adam Hine, while receivers Mitch Juergens, and Nick Kurtz, average an eye-popping 25 yards per grab.

The D led by nose Logan Taele, backer Harvey Langi, and safety Michael Wadsworth                                                 has played well, but it will be severely tested on Saturday night by the Trojan’s dynamic passing assault.

There hasn’t been this much interest surrounding a Bruins QB, since Mark Harmon, of NCIS fame, was leading the UCLANs to the Rose Bowl.

Its new poster boy is t-freshman QB Josh Rosen, who has the faithful not only dreaming of a Rose Bowl, but dare-I-say, an invite to the New Year’s Eve playoff.

The protégé relies on a trio of tailbacks; Paul Perkins, Bolu Olorunfunmi, and Soso Jamabo, who have the ability to tiller the earth better than Monsanto.

When the kid takes to the smog-filled skies channeling Gary Beban, wideouts Jordan Payton, and partner Devin Fuller, are big-play targets.

The D led by All-America backer Myles Jack, his partner Kenny Young, and nose Kenny Clark is faster than a Porsche screaming down Highway 1.

UCLA has won 10-consecutive non-conference games.  Make it eleven, as Mangum’s Cinderella ride morphs into a pumpkin.

Last week’s record: 2-3                              Season record 6-4.

That’s it from cyber-space.  We’ll be up and running with our recap by noon Sunday.  Until then, Peace, and listen to the music.  PK

Toledo shocks Arkansas, Notre Dame stages miraculous comeback, Mich. State beats Oregon, LSU, Temple, Kentucky grab victories

It seemed as if the gods of college football were channeling Elvis; as renditions of “Heartbreak Hotel” broke out all over the country.

We’ll begin in Little Rock with the biggest shocker of the day as the “Rockets” of Toledo, a 21-point underdog, knocked off the “mighty” Razorbacks of Arkansas: 16-12.  YIKES!!  And Holy Toledo!!!

Toledo’s D stifled the “vaunted” Bielema ground attack limiting it to a measly 103 yards, and 3.3 yards a pop.

It also twice stopped late potential game winning drives with the game’s final attempt coming from the Rockets 12-yard line as time expired. WOW!!

The humongous upset was orchestrated by former Alabama backup QB Phillip Ely who played like Captain Bly.

But for us, the best part; it humbled (at least temporarily), and quieted the overly pompous gasbag Razorback coach Bret Bielema.  Which is no easy task.   Good for Toledo!!!

Next we’ll travel to Charlottesville and the school founded by Thomas Jefferson the University of Virginia who lost a last second “heartbreaker” to Notre Dame 34-27.

The Irish squandered its 26-14 lead when the Cavs scored with 1:54 left to take a 27-26 lead.

“The Domers” who lost starting QB Malik Zaire for the season to a broken ankle earlier in the game needed his backup, and now starter, DeShone Kizer to find a way.

And find a way he did, hitting ND’s starry wideout Will Fuller with a 39 yard over-the shoulder touchdown winning 34-27 catch with 12 ticks left on the clock.   AMAZING!!!

The biggest heartbreaker involves UVA Coach Mike London whose seat, now hotter than the gasses on Mercury, would have at least cooled to blazing status.

“Now DeShone has to run our football team, and we feel good about it,” said Irish Coach Brian Kelly.  We’ll see!!

[As a side note Justin Yoon a product of Milton Academy and considered the country’s number one rated kicker last year, missed three field goals.]

Next we turn to the Plains of Auburn where the Tigers needed overtime to finally defeat its 1AA opponent Jacksonville State 27-20!!  Are you kidding me???

In fact, War Eagle needed a leaping touchdown catch by Melvin Ray with less than a minute left just to get a chance to play in the overtime.  Really!!!!

Tiger starting QB Jeremy Jonson, who some were touting as the next Cam Newton, has played more like Howard Johnson, except with only a single flavor.

The QB needs to purchase the game “Clue,” because he’s truly been clueless on the field.

From there, we’ll venture to Knoxville and a visit to Boys from Rocky Top.

During the first half, its 100,000-plus Checkerboard zealots, the largest crowd Oklahoma has ever played before, generated noise levels of over 100 decibels as the Volunteers soared to 17-0 lead.

Unfortunately that cacophony was silenced as OU staged a comeback for the ages, as the Sons of Johnny Majors fell; 31-24 in overtime.

It was a crushing defeat for the rebuilding Vols who have now lost 28 of its last 29 to ranked teams, and are a woeful 2-34 against Top-25 teams since 2008.  Double Yikes!!!

And for “Big-Game” Bob, he called it; “One of my most special wins, maybe my favorite of all time.”

“A little Sooner Magic came back out…” said Stoops, who has now beaten an SEC opponent for the third consecutive season.  Good for them!!!

From there we’ll move to the Queen City, where the Owls of Temple now find themselves 2-0 after going on the road, and stifling the highly touted Bearcats of Cincinnati: 34-26.

It was Temple’s first victory at Nippert Stadium since the Reagan Administration: 1985.  WOW!!

Temple now finds itself 2-0 for the first time since the last days of W’s Administration 2008, and its success can be traced to its opportunistic D which had 5 takeaways including 4 interceptions the last coming in the end zone to ice the victory.  The Owls are a hoot!!!

We’ll zip over to Columbia, South Carolina where the other Stoops, his brother Mark, celebrated a semi-historic victory by his Wildcats of Kentucky, ending a 22 game road losing streak that had stretched over 5-years by defeating the Gamecocks of South Carolina 26-22.

The Cats find themselves 2-0.  Good for them!!!

It’s on to East Lansing, where the Spartans of Michigan State also celebrated its most significant victory since its famous 1966 10-10 tie against Notre Dame defeating a fast closing Oregon Ducks team: 31-28.

The MSU D stopped the Ducks four-times on fourth down!!

In fact, one has to back to the Administration of LBJ the last time a pair of top ten teams met in Spartan Stadium, and it sets Mark Dantonio’s Boys up for a legitimate chance for a playoff invite.

In Starkville, home of the Bulldogs of Mississippi State, LSU hung on to claim a agita inducing  21-19 victory, as MSU missed a 52-yard game winning field goal as time expired.

The key to the play was a 5-yard delay of game penalty making it a longer field goal try.  Amazing!!!!

How bad are things on the Piscataway Campus, otherwise known as the Home of Rutgers Football?

Well Washington State travels across the country after losing last week to a 1AA team, and marches 90-yards down the field scoring the winning TD with: 13 left for an improbable: 37-34 victory.  YIKES!!

With all the “stuff” swirling around the program, nobody’s seat is as warm as Knight’s Coach Kyle Flood and that included UVA’s Mike London.

Finally, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention the foolishness that took place yesterday at Chestnut Hill: a 76-0 exhibition walk-through by the Eagles against that juggernaut: 1AA Howard University Bison.

In this “everyone gets a trophy society” both teams agreed to shorten the periods to ten minutes for the second half.  What a joke!!   Is this Pop Warner??

And BC wonders why it has difficulty generating any interest.  Try playing Harvard, or how about UMass- now there’s a concept!!   As we have said many a time in these pages:  ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Outside of that debacle, it was another tremendous “Heartbreak Hotel” week of college football.

That’s it from cyber-space.  We’ll be up and running with our analysis of week 3 Wednesday night.  Until then, Peace, and listen to the music.  Pk