SATURDAY FOOTBALL by PAUL KENNEY

 

General Douglas MacArthur signing the Japanese surrender on VJ Day

“Age wrinkles the body.  Quitting wrinkles the soul.”  Douglas MacArthur.

 

“Untutored courage in useless in the face of educated bullets.”  George Patton.

 

“Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, and those who are cold and not clothed.”  Dwight Eisenhower

 

We close the 2022 college football season with our annual “Army-Navy the Old Man and Me,” the joyous tale of taking my dad to the 1998 Army-Navy football game.

It is our version of; “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.”

On Pearl Harbor Day, December 7, 1963, at the age of eleven, some two weeks after the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, I watched my first college football game.

It was Army versus Navy, and it featured the Midshipmen’s Heisman Trophy winning quarterback Roger Staubach.

The march on by the Midshipmen of the Naval Academy for the 2015 Army-Navy Game

I viewed the game with my dad, sharing the ends of a couch in the living room on the top-floor of our Dorchester “Wattendorf” owned three-decker which was located only a slap-shot away from Murphy’s Funeral Home on Dorchester Ave.

My three decker home was a slap shot away from Murphy’s funeral home – above – located on Dot Ave

[Note: In those days directions in Dorchester were always given by referencing the local “landmarks” barrooms, parish churches, schools, gas stations, playgrounds, beaches, markets, bakeries, drugstores, packies, sub-shops, or pizza joints, bowling alleys, but seldom, if ever, by using actual street names.]

We watched on a black and white Philco television accompanied by the mandatory “rabbit ears” and even though the “old man” was WWII Army, I was rooting for Navy.

Army lined up at the Navy 1-yard line as time expired

The game ended on a controversial time expiring no call, with the Cadets of West Point perched on the Navy 1-yard line, as the “Sons of Joe Bellino” (the 1960 Heisman winner from Winchester) escaped with a 21-15 victory which secured an invitation to the Cotton Bowl in Dallas.

It fostered a lifelong affair with the game of college football, one in which I remain intimately involved by writing a seasonal online column presently for the Lawrence Eagle Tribune, as well as serving as a voter in the annual selection of the winner of the Heisman Trophy.

But now, nearly sixty-years later, this annual gridiron extravaganza between some of the best and brightest of America carries much deeper personal roots.

My dad Ed passed 21-years ago and four years before his demise, in the spring of 1998 he experienced what was described as a “mini-stroke.”

Fortunately, he recovered without any serious complications, but it made me realize that this 75-year old former Army soldier wouldn’t be around forever, and that epiphany inspired me to put the following plan into action.

I would surprise my “old man” by taking him the witness the classic first hand, a “full circle” father-son football and life journey.

It would be a one day whirlwind excursion.

The airline reservations were a snap, remember this was pre 9-11, but now I needed some tickets, and not just any seats, but something decent, especially for a guy in his mid-seventies.

Bill Brett as always with camera at the ready

I called my pal Bill Brett, the retired prize winning photographer from the Boston Globe, who is a better person, and who to this day, continues to snap away producing his well-received coffee table books.

I asked Billy if he would ask the since deceased Globe sports columnist Will McDonough to ask his son Sean, who at the time was working for CBS Sports, and calling the game, for assistance in securing a pair of good seats.

In typical Dorchester-Southie fashion they all came through.

I picked up the tickets at the stadium’s “Will Call” window which were in a large manila envelope marked; “CBS Sports.”

The kid working the window glanced at the CBS logo and duly impressed looked up and proclaimed; “You must be important!”

Little did he know!  Nostradamus he was not!

We ventured to our seats; lower level at Philadelphia’s old Vet Stadium, eight rows up from the rail, 45-yard line.

Absolutely perfect!

Here we are sitting around various Naval Brass, and after looking around in silence for a few minutes, the “old man” a former Army corporal, who walked in and out of France and Germany looks at me as says; “Are you sure we are in the right seats?”

Translation; How could a nitwit like you, pull off seats like these?!

1998 Army Navy Game

Even though it was the fifth of December, the weather was a balmy 60-degrees, and we were treated to a great game, watching what at the time (since surpassed) was the highest scoring game in the series a 34-30 Army victory.

Sitting in the plane and just as we were about to takeoff, the “old man” leaned in and said, “In case I forget, I want to thank you.”

For a WW II father that simple statement was like; “War and Peace.”

My dad passed three-years later, but with apologies to Bogart and Bergman in the airport scene from the movie classic “Casablanca,” we’ll always have Army-Navy.

So yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.”

Now to the game:

Army – Navy (Ch. 4, 3:30 p.m.) This is the 123^rd edition of what we consider to be the last pure amateur sporting event of major consequence left in America.

And in today’s world of instant NIL  millionaires, it’s seems inconceivable that between the 1920’s and the 1960’s, the Army-Navy game, the eighth most played FBS rivalry, captured the attention of the entire country.

Scene from the first Army Navy game 1890

These elite Academies first laced up its cleats in 1890 when President Benjamin Harrison would occasionally imbibe in pleasure of an Oval Office cigar.

It was a 24-0 whitewash by the Annapolis Midshipmen, who have won 18 of the last 23 hoedowns, and hold an overall 62-53-7 series advantage.

This is also the 90^th time that the game, often attended by a sitting President, who, as reflected in his title of Commander in chief alternates his seating location by crossing at midfield during halftime to sit with the other Academy, has been played in the City of Brotherly Love, aka Philadelphia.

President Harry Truman and First Lady Bess at the Army-Navy Game – Truman only missed 1 game during his 8-years as President

[Notes: President Harry Truman, who reveled in the rivalry, attended the most of any Commander in chief, missing only once during his eight years (1945-52) as the Leader of the Free World, which occurred in 1951 when he was on vacation.

And in order for that initial game in 1890 to be played, 271 members of the Corps of Cadets each contributed 52-cents to pay for half of Navy’s traveling costs. 

And in the 1963 game there was a watershed moment in the broadcasting history with the debut of instant replay which changed the way the game is watched and televised.]

It may have taken longer than the completion of the “Big Dig,” but Army found the right man in coach Jeff Monken.

Army’s Houdini headman Jeff Monken celebrates a touchdown

During his nine-year (63-49) tenure as the leader of the Black Knights of the Hudson, the Army headman has accomplished what many felt was beyond even the reach of Houdini, leading the “Sons of Doc Blanchard” back to football relevance.

He has taken five of his squads to a bowl game, winning four, with the crème de la crème occurring in 2018 when the “Sons of Red Blaik” finished with an 11-2 season that was as sparkling as Rockefeller Plaza during the Christmas season, finishing as the 19^th ranked team in America.  Amazing!

On offense, the triple option “Sons of Glen Davis,” who rumble over hill and dale as the nation’s second (304-yards) leading earth movers, are supported by a cast of roadrunners that is seemingly larger than the number of extras in the movie “Ben-Hur,” led by QB Tyhier Tyler, and assisted by Bryson Daily, Braheam Murphy, Maurice Bellan, Jakobi Buchanan, and Markel Johnson all of whom play a key role in keeping the caissons rolling along.

And when the Cadets field general takes to the skies over Michie Stadium, which is nearly as rare as a fisherman catching a blue lobster, Isaiah Alston, who has a seasonal total of 16-catches, is the primary target.

On D, the anvil-hardened “Sons of Caleb Campbell” anchored by safety Max DiDomenico, backer Leo Lowin, and end Kwabena Bonsu, has struggled like the Russian Army in Ukraine in stopping the opposition’s ground assaults, as it sits a near the bottom feeding 115^th overall allowing an average of 193-yards a game, which is not a winning recipe against the Middies.

President George W Bush presents Navy coach Ken Niumatalolo accepts the Commander in chief trophy from the President

In recognition of his length of high-level service at the Naval Academy, coach Ken Niumatalolu should be awarded some honorary commander lapel stars.

His 15-year tenure (109-82) of leading the Navy footballers has been as impressive as his Academy counterpart in maintaining the high cotton standards of “Sons of Roger Staubach” that was set by his predecessor coach Paul Johnson.

But before Johnson’s arrival there were serious discussions of dropping Navy football down to the FCS level, as the Annapolis eleven stumbled and bumbled during a twenty-year period between 1982 and 2001 swirling in the vortex of a Dante like Abyss, as its 72-148 record of ineptitude, clearly indicates.

During those lost days of darkness, Navy had a total of 3-winning seasons, and in its lowest between 2000-2001 Navy’s 1-20 record would have been right at home in a skit of Jackie’s Gleason’s “Poor Soul” as it was outscored by an average of 17-points.

As Mr. Rogers might ask; “Can you say, Pathetic?!”

Coach Niumatalolu, who has defeated Notre Dame three-times, has taken the Anchors Aweigh eleven to an eye-popping 10 bowl games, and finished in the top 20 twice, but there is some ambiguity regarding his future employ, as his the Middies, who have played the 33^rd toughest schedule in America, will be finishing with third consecutive losing season.  OUCH!

On offense, the triple option “Sons of Joe Bellino,” the nation’s seventh (239-yards) leading ground attack, is directed by QB Xavier Arline, with assists from his John Deere partners Maquel Haywood, and Daba Fofana has staggered like a Crypto investor looking at his account statement, as Navy is a woeful 104^th in scoring, averaging a miniscule 22-points-a-game, which is roughly the same number of subpoenas that the Trump Organization is served each day.

On D, the “Sons of Chet Moeller” anchored by its ferocious disruptor, backer John Marshall, who is t-third (18.5) in the nation in tackles for losses, and fifth (10.5) overall in sacks, along with fellow backer Colin Ramos, and end Jacob Busic, swarms to the ball, stone runners, and hits with the concussive and destructive force of Ukrainian fired javelin missile.

The boys in Vegas rate this game a tossup, but based on its much more difficult schedule, we’re going with the Anchors Aweigh Eleven from Annapolis to prevent the caissons of the Army from rolling to victory.  As they say every day in Annapolis Beat Army!

Last week:  2-2                 Season record; 33-23

Well we’ve come to the end of another college football season which was filled with its usual twists and surprises.

Thanks to all for checking in, especially to editor Bill Burt of the Lawrence Eagle Tribune for giving us a landing spot, and with a hat-tip to Roy Rogers and Dale Evens, “Happy Trails to you, until we meet again!”

Stay well, and if I am allowed to utter such a salutation without being scolded, Merry Christmas, and as always, Peace, and more than ever listen to the music!!    PK

SATURDAY FOOTBALL by PAUL KENNEY

Georgia’s legendary Coach Vince Dooley carried off the field after winning the 1980 national championship

In light of Georgia’s top hat opportunity to repeat as national champions, we thought that it would be apropos to pay a tribute to the recent passing of a true Southern Gentleman, Georgia’s legendary HOF coach Vince Dooley (201-77-10) whose Bulldogs captured six SEC titles, along with the 1980 national championship, with our personal journey to Athens, Georgia, and our visit with the retired Coach, which took place in 2005 before the playing of Georgia-Auburn game, which is referred to as; the oldest rivalry in the Deep South.

The germination of the journey began in the fall of that year, when I, along with two pals went on the air at WBET, a small Brockton radio station launching a show that we created; “The Stumbling, Bumbling, College Football Show.”

Every Wednesday evening at 6 p.m. during the football season, we’d broadcast our 90-minute college football extravaganza, which included interviews with coaches from all over the country, an often feisty regular discussion with the now retired Boston Globe HOF national college football writer Mark Blaudschun, and an in-depth analysis of the big games of the week.

One of those coaches who graced our show was Georgia’s Vince Dooley, who at the end of the interview offered, “If you ever come to Athens, let me know, and we’ll meet for lunch.”

That is generally a polite throw-away line, in which the person tossing it out never expects anyone to actually take him up on the offer, especially in this case, with some “northern invaders” from Boston.

Wrong Coach!

My pal Bob, and his two sons Steven, and Kevin, along with their friend Wiley Turnipseed from Auburn, decided to make that journey to Athens, the home of the Bulldogs.

When I informed the coach by phone of our plans that we were indeed taking him up on his offer he didn’t blanch, and said, “Stop by my house at noon for lunch.”

Coach Dooley’s home right out of the pages of “Gone with the Wind”

On Saturday, at the Gary Cooper appointed hour of “high noon” we walked into, what to my Dorchester eyes looked like a classic “Gone with the Wind” mansion, surrounded by majestic pines and beautifully appointed landscaped grounds.

The coach came out and warmly greeted us, and said that he was having lunch with friends, saying that he’d be back in a little while, then adding, “But I think you enjoy this room.”

Now picture this, four total strangers left alone in this fabulous room filled with the artifacts of his iconic 25-year coaching career, which included hundreds of ceramic bulldogs, family photos, a signed bat by Henry Aaron, along with a black checked suit coat draped over the back of one of the couches, it was truly amazing.

When the coach returned he regaled us stories of how he was able to land his prize recruit, and now senatorial candidate Herschel Walker, and several other classic recruiting stories of his career.

It was as if we had known this man all our lives.

So here’s a hat-tip to you Coach Dooley, R.I. P. and as Bob Hope’s signature theme song says; “Thanks for the memories.”

No. 1 Georgia vs No. 11 LSU – SEC Championship (Ch.4, 4 p.m.) The Georgia Bulldogs, the top ranked footballers from the other “Athens of America,” just recorded its second consecutive 12-0 regular season of perfection.

In fact, one has to trace back to the final year of Donald “Mr. Stolen Election,” Trump’s Administration, November 7, 2020, to find the last time that these “Sons of Vince Dooley” have lost a regular season game.

It is currently a string of 27 in-a-row, and when its post season is added, Georgia is an eye-popping 30-1, and attempting become the first team to win back-to-back national titles since Alabama accomplished the feat in 2011-12.

As Mr. Rogers might ask, “Hey kids, can you say dynasty?”

Georgia’s starry QB spots his target

Stetson Bennett, the Bulldogs field general and newly christened NIL millionaire concisely summarized the Dawgs “take no prisoners’” mission, “We didn’t come to this season trying to go 12-0, we came to it to go 15-0.”

And should the Dawgs capture consecutive titles, Mr. Bennett will never have to pay for another drink in the Peach State.

The wily commander of the nation’s twelfth highest (38 pts) scoring eleven is assisted by a pair of line-smashing earthmovers; Kenny McIntosh (35-grabs out of the backfield), and Daijun Edwards, who have combined for 1292-yards and 15 TDs, while tight end Brock Bowers, and wideout Ladd McConkey are comforting Linus-blanket targets for an offense that will never be mistaken for the flash of “Jerry Lee Lewis,” or the “Shock and Awe” of W’s invasion of Iraq, but has the ability to simply slowly grind an opponent into submission.

Georgia tackle Jalen Carter makes a sack

On defense, the “Sons of David Pollack,” the nation’s stingiest (11 pts) eleven, anchored by tackle Jalen Carter, backer Jamon Dumas-Johnson, and corner Makaki Starks, surrenders less than an eye-popping 80-rushing yards a game, and hits with the concussive force of a Mike Tyson right to the chin.

It has dominated the opposition in the same way that Alexander the Great dominated the Persian Empire, and overall is harder to penetrate than the security around Prince William and Kate, or the vaults at the Vatican.

In Baton Rouge, despite last Saturday’s embarrassingly desultory and costly$$$ losing performance, coach Brian Kelly, “The Man from Everett,” has been nearly as masterful the “Kingfish” Huey Long in directing the Tigers during his initial sojourn on the Bayou.

LSU coach Brian Kelly, smiling as usual presents a game ball to his starry QB Jayden Daniels

On offense, the “Sons of Bert Jones,” are commanded by its elusive dual-threat marksman, QB Jayden Daniels, who in addition to compiling 15 TDs versus only 2 interceptions, also leads the team in rushing with 824-yards, and 11 touchdowns.

But on Saturday he is expected to be somewhat limited with a gimpy sprained ankle, exacerbated by an offensive line that could be the poster boys for a cheese factory in Switzerland having surrendered a mind-blowing 41-sacks, which is a losing Doc Holliday type of hand against the ferocious footballers from Athens.

The electric (if healthy) Arizona State transfer, is assisted by a trio of steamrolling line busting tailbacks; Josh Williams (returning from knee issue), Noah Cain, and John Emery, while chain-moving wideouts; Mailik Nabers, Kayshon Boute, and Mason Taylor will not cause any agita moments for opposing D-coordinators.

On D, the “Sons of Patrick Peterson” led by end BJ Ojulari, and backers Micah Baskerville, and Harold Perkins, swarm to ball, but have shown some crypto like weaknesses in slowing the run, which is also not a winning formula when taking on the Dawgs.

Overall, Georgia’s senior class has posted an eyebrow arching Goldman Sachs record of 46-5 during its tenure in Athens, and LSU is one of only two SEC teams that Bulldogs class has yet to defeat.

That all changes on Saturday, as the Dawgs, in the spirit of Vince Dooley, capture the SEC title, add another notch to that incredible senior record and move one step closer to its goal of repeating as national champions.

No. 4 USC at No. 12 Utah – Pac 12 Championship (FOX, 8 p.m. Friday) This is exactly the scenario as to why we despise these “eat your own” disingenuous $$$$$$money grabbing conference championship games.

Barak Obama was in the final year of his second term 2016, the last time a team from the Pac-12 earned a spot in the final four playoff, and without these coffer filling conference championships, USC would have already locked up one of those coveted playoff spots.

But it now has to face a very dangerous Utah squad, one that gave the Trojans its only loss, and at on a neutral site of Las Vegas no less, which will be no easy task.

And if the Trojans should fall, the Pac 12, like the proud and tough people of Ukraine, will once again be left out in the cold looking in.

With apologies to Randy Newman and his paean “I love L.A.” it aptly summarizes the feelings of the USC faithful toward the pair of Oklahoma emigres, who in a single season have revitalized the Rip van Winkle fortunes of the dormant “Sons of John McKay.”

The USC revivalists coach Lincoln Riley gives the play to his Heisman contending QB Caleb Williams

These two Trojan catalysts, coach Lincoln Riley, arguably the best known wizard this side of “Oz,” and along with his dual-threat Heisman front runner, QB Caleb (34 TDs, 3 Ints, 10 rushing) Williams, who hits his target with the precision of a Marine sniper, while playing with the swaggering leg shaking confidence Tina Turner sashaying to “Proud Mary,” have formed the best one two punch since Osbourne and Frazier, or Parseghian and Hanratty.

The Heisman front running maestro is the director of the nation’s second (42 pts) highest scoring eleven, who hits his targets with Bernstein-esque precision featuring a trio of high cotton glue fingered receivers; Jordan Addison, last season’s Biletnikoff winner from Pitt, and his compatriots Tahj Washington, and Mario Williams, who have combined for 17 TDs, and averaging over 15-yards a catch, while tailback Austin Jones, has been a line smashing revelation since filling in for the injured bell cow Travis Dye.

Tackle Tuli Tuipulotu celebrates another sack

On D, the “Sons of Willie McGinest,” anchored by its one man “Wrecking Crew,” tackle Tuli Tuipulotu fifth in the nation with (20) tfls, and second in the country with (12.5) sacks, but overall the D of USC is a sits a bottom feeding  91^st overall and causes many a Pepto Bismol evening for the Trojans defensive coaches.

It has a doppelganger like resemblance to the matadors at the Plaza de Toros de Las Ventas in Madrid, Spain, waving its capes at the charging bulls, which for a football team trying to earn a spot in the final four is a major cause of trepidation for its faithful especially in facing this well coached Utes team.

Utah’s Kyle Whittingham likes what he sees

Kyle Whittingham, the headman of the defending Pac-12 champions, who is finishing his nineteenth (153-73) season as the leader of the Salt Lake City eleven, could be the poster boy for the Coaches Witness Protection Program, and that is exactly the way he likes it.

Utah’s starry QB Cam Rising spots his target

On offense, the “Sons of Lee Grosscup,” the nation’s tenth (39) highest scoring squad, is directed by it dual-threat, anvil-hardened QB Cam Rising, who is tougher than the demonstrators facing down the “morality” police of Iran, with assists from a pair of road runners Micah Bernard, and Ja’Quinden for the nation’s tenth (220-yards) ranked ground assault, whose strength is its ability to move the chains in long slogging clock controlling drives.

And when the Beehive State sharpshooter takes to Salt Lake City skies, he luxuriates by lasering on his bulldozing All-America tight end tight end Dalton Kincaid (expected to play), with assists from wideouts DeVaughn Vele, and Money Parks, for an offense that doesn’t overwhelm, but is as relentless as a Nor’easter chewing on a dune on the Cape, and with apologies to Hank Stram, slowly matriculates down the field.

On D, of the “Sons of Luther Elliss” anchored by end Gabe Reid, and backers Mohamoud Diabate, and Karene Reid, swarm to the ball while hitting with the intensity of a Smithy forging a shoe, forcing its opponents to scrape for yards the same way a high rise window washer squeegees away any dirt or excessive moisture.

As we mentioned, this is a very dangerous game for the Trojans, as well as the entire Pac 12 conference, and with that said, we’ll stay with the Heisman front runner and trusts he figures out a way to squeeze out the victory.

No. 3 TCU at No. 13 Kansas State – Big 12 Championship (Ch. 5, Noon) Coach Sonny Dykes undefeated Horned Frogs have stunningly “jumped” over most of the college football elite, and if it is able to cash in one more wining hand by capturing this Big 12 championship game, its moves into the highly coveted bright lights of a final-four playoff.  WOW!

Horned Frogs coach Sonny Dykes hugs his Heisman contending QB Max Duggan for a job well done

But this will not be, with apologies to Fred Astaire, and Irving Berlin, an easy “Easter Parade” stroll.

The footballers from the “Little Apple” of Manhattan, Kansas, aka the Kansas State Wildcats present a Gibraltar-sized obstacle blocking the path of the Frogs in its quest to complete its Cinderella season.

In Forth Worth, the “Sons of Sammy Baugh,” are commanded by its Heisman contending QB Max (29 TDs-3 Ints-66%-5 rushing) Duggan, the pilot of the nation’s fourth (41 pts) highest scoring eleven, who performs with the same bravado as Freddy Mercury on stage at Live Aid, and is tougher than an iron worker 30 stories up on a windy bitter mid-January day.

The Frogs dart thrower gets a gigundous assist from his Doak Walker semi-finalist tailback Kendre Miller who has scored 16 TDs, while plowing the fields for nearly 1300 yards.

And when TCU’s commander takes to the skies over Amon Carter Stadium, he selects from a quintet of touchdown creating receivers led by Quentin Johnson, and Darius Davis who will test the mettle of any defense.

On D, with apologies to Homer, the “Sons of Greg Townsend” led by backers Dee Winters, Johnny Hodges, and end Dylan Horton, sits 74^th overall, and a woeful 87^th defending all aerial attacks, which just might be the “Albatross” that derails the Horned Frogs dream season.

It has also been a season of high drama for the faithful from Manhattan, Kansas, as Chris Klieman’s Kansas State Wildcats finds itself a skinny victory away from capturing the Big 12 championship crown.

And if it manages to knock off the Frogs, it will punch its ticket for a date in the Sugar Bowl with a likely matchup against the Tide of Alabama.

Not bad for a team that wasn’t expected to sniff the top-25!

The season shifted when QB Adrian Martinez, the transfer from Nebraska, was lost to a leg injury in the seventh game of the season.

KState’s savior backup QB Will Howard has the Cats one win away from winning the Big 12

That’s when the Cat’s called upon its backup QB Will Howard (13 TDs-2 Ints), who was patiently waiting in the wings like a Broadway understudy.

But like Lou Gehrig replacing Wally Pipp, once he got the call to perform on stage of Bill Snyder Family Stadium, he strutted like a Fosse Tony Award winner sparking the Cats to its current spot, one victory away from a Big 12 title.

The starry replacement is assisted by its own Doak Walker semi-finalist, its dynamic fireplug (5-6, 178) tailback Deuce Vaughn, who is 5-yards shy of 1300 yards and on the run is nearly as dangerous as riding the New York subway at midnight, while wideouts Kade Warner, Malik Knowles, and Phillip Brooks provide reliable glue fingered chain moving targets.

On D, the “Sons of Gary Spani,” the nation’s fourteenth (19 pts) stingiest, led by end Felix Anudike-Vzomah, and safeties Drake Cheatum, and Kenny Logan, flies to the ball while hitting with the same the intensity as a Steve Carleton fastball slicing and popping into the leather of mitt of a catcher.

This is a difficult game to get a handle, Kansas State is very capable of changing the TCU’s golden carriage into a pumpkin, and upsetting the final four cart which is just fine with us.

But that said, for some reason there is a certain aura floating over the footballers from Fort Worth, and we believe that its salty Heisman contending field general, finds a way to finish the season in David-like perfection, and punches its ticket into the playoff.

No. 2 Michigan vs Purdue –Big Ten Championship (FOX, 8 p.m.) These Big Ten foes first strapped on its helmets in 1880 when Benjamin Harrison was lighting the fireplace in the Oval Office, a 34-6 victory by Big Blue, who has dominated the series 45-14, in the same way that Bobby Fischer once dominated the chess boards of the world.

Jim Harbaugh congratulates his starry 19-year old QB J.J. McCarthy

Jim Harbaugh’s Maize and Blue are also a perfect 12-0 for the first time since the start of Bill “I feel your pain” Clinton’s second term in 1997, and with a hat-tip to the original “happy warrior” Hubert Humphrey, Michigan’s headman has described the season, with apologies to the Turtles and its huge hit “Happy Together,” as a “Joyful, happy ride that we’re on.  It’s a mission, but a happy mission.”

Really?  This is Harbaugh?  There must be a cannabis shop near the entrance to the Ann Arbor campus?

These “Sons of Bo” have climbed to these Himalayan heights fortified behind a ferocious and disruptive D, the nation’s third (12 pts) stingiest, which ranks in the top five in every major category.

It is anchored by backers Junior Colson, Michael Barrett, and tackle Kris Jenkins and overall causes more chaos than the poker games at the “Yellowstone” bunkhouse, and has been harder to penetrate than the security surrounding Chinese President Xi Jinping.

On offense, the “Sons of Jamie Morris” the nation’s seventh (39 pts) highest scoring squad, is directed by its freewheeling dual-threat maestro J.J. McCarthy, who plays with the élan of Paul Newman as “Fast Eddie Felson” in the movie classic: “The Hustler.”

Michigan’s one time Heisman contender Blake Corum on the run if he is unable to go his backfield mate Donovan Edwards is more than capable in carrying the running load

The Maize and Blue’s field general gets a huge assist from his John Deere earthmovers Blake Corum (knee, may be limited) and his blazing backfield mate Donovan Edwards, who comprise the nation’s fifth best ground assault averaging an eye-rolling 244-yards a game.

And when the director of this Big Blue “happy” squad takes to the skies over Ann Arbor, he focuses on a trio of Allstate glue fingered chain movers; Ronnie Bell, Cornelius Johnson, and tight end Luke Schoonmaker, defense stressors all.

In West Lafayette, it’s been a surprisingly pleasant season for the Purdue footballers, who captured its first ever Big Ten West title, and in doing so earned an entry into the Big Ten championship game for the first time since the last days of Bill and Monica in 2000.  Yikes!

And with a huge upset, Purdue earns a spot in the Rose Bowl.

But to give you some idea as to the rarity of a Boilermaker squad making an appearance in the Rose Bowl, try this on for size; Purdue has the same number of graduates who have walked on the moon, as it does of quarterbacks who have led them to the “Granddaddy of them all.”  TWO!

The QB’s were Bob Griese in 1966, and Drew Brees in 2000, and with apologies to Michael Jackson, the moonwalking graduates were Neil Armstrong in 1969, and Gene Cernan in 1972, who was the last man to set foot on the lunar surface.  AMAZING!

Purdue’s Aidan O’Connell would love to lead the Boilermakers into the Rose Bowl

Sixth-year QB Aidan O’Connell (22 TDs-11 Ints) the Boilers gun slinging Wallenda-esque aerial artist who is hoping to break that Lunar versus QB tie, is assisted by a trio of game changing wideouts; Charlie Jones, TJ Shefield, and tight end Payne Durham, who have combined for 186-grabs and 23-TDs, while its 97^th ranked rushing attack led by Devin Mockobee has improved as its season has progressed.

On D, the “Sons of Anthony Spencer” featuring backers Kiernan Douglas, Jalen Graham, and end Jack Sullivan, is solid in all phases, but will not cause any sleepless moments for the Wolverines D-coordinator.

The Michigan “happy warriors” roll to a perfect baker’s dozen, and in doing so earn its second consecutive final four invite, but this time it has a “legitimate shot” at winning the national championship, which would be its first since Lloyd Carr was roaming the Ann Arbor sidelines in 1997.

Last week:  1-3                 Season record; 31-21

That’s it from cyber-space.  We’ll be up and running with our annual “Army-Navy, the Old Man and Me” to close out another season.

Until then, Peace, and more than ever listen to the music. PK