The soulful music emanating from the football offices of: Chestnut Hill, Norman, Tallahassee, Eugene, South Bend, Austin, and Iowa City is the classic Crescent City funeral dirge; “Nearer My God to Thee” as playoff hopes, Heisman candidacies, and possible future employment were all buried on the gridiron yesterday.
We’ll begin with the Eagles of Boston College who lost its tenth consecutive ACC contest by the embarrassing whitewashing of: 49-0. That was the third time the Boys from the Heights have been shutout in its last 13-Games!! OUCH!!
My country for a touchdown. We don’t want to say that the BC offense is Jurassic, but the good Jesuits just changed the mascot from an Eagle to a Pterodactyl!!
How ugly were things in Blacksburg?
Well the “Sons of Mike Holovak,” ah those were the days, averaged less than 3-yards a carry, while its transfer starting QB Patrick Towles was as inept at Gomer Pyle; 9-28 for 80 yards, and this in the era of video game offenses!!
And even though Steve Addazio “all losses hurt the same” is signed through the 2019 season, and the good fathers hate to eat money, the seat of “Mr. A” is now hotter than the flow from Mount St. Helens.
In Louisville’s Papa John’s Stadium it was as a performance of “Shock and Awe” (coined by President W in the bogus war against Iraq) by the “Sons of Johnny Unitas” who delivered a large cheese with all that toppings, while establishing itself as the “new big dog” in the ACC; shellacking the hapless Seminoles: 63-20.w
As a pal of mine texted halfway through the game, FSU just got off the bus!!!
That’s how bad it was for the Bobby Bowden faithful as FSU surrendered the most points in its proud history, while suffering its third biggest margin of defeat!! Double WOW!!
And in perfect symmetry, L’ville’s first round KO of a heavyweight opponent, occurred on the day the Cardinals honored its native son, “The Louisville Lip” Muhammad Ali, by wearing a butterfly decal with “ALI” printed in the middle, on the back of their helmets.
And the guy who orchestrated that destructive performance by “floating like a butterfly, and stinging like a bee” was its jaw-dropping “Michael Vick-esque” QB, Lamar Jackson (13-20, 216, 1 TD, 146-rushing yards – 4 TDs), who was more electric than a Chevy Volt and Tesla combined as he climbed to top of the very early Heisman conversation.
Hail the academies!!!
After its victories yesterday, Army (3-0), Navy (3-0), and Air Force bye (2-0) remain unblemished, while Cadets of West Point, who honored their cornerback Brandon Jackson who was killed in a car accident this week by wearing his number on its helmets, have already surpassed last season’s victory total of 2!!! Good for them!!
The “Long Grey Line” is 3-0 for the first time since Bill was hanging out with Monica – 1996, crushed UTEP; 66-14, which is the most points scored by an Army team since its undefeated (9-0) national championship war team of: 1944, when it hung 69 on Pitt!!!
On the local front it was a good weekend for the “teammates”: Buddy Teevens of Dartmouth, and Tim Murphy of Harvard, who played together at Silver Lake Regional High School, as both squads opened their season with impressive victories: Harvard a 51-21 cruise over the Rams of URI on Friday night, and a more impressive 22-21 Big Green last minute victory over UNH last night by Dartmouth in Hanover.
It was the first time the Sons of Bob Blackman have knocked off its intrastate rival since Jimmy Carter was sipping “Billy Beer” in the Oval Office: 1976!! Good for Buddy!!!
While the “Belles of Amherst” Mark Whipple’s UMass Minutemen, who changed QB’s (Andrew Ford) knocked off FIU for its first win of the season: 21-13.
Just imagine in Whipple, and his d-coordinator Don Brown were prowling on the BC sideline, but that’s a story for another day!!
In Columbus, Urban Meyer’s Scarlet and Grey went into Norman and dominated a clueless bunch of Sooners 45-24, as the Bucks QB JT Barrett and solid Heisman candidate quietly went about his business completing 70% of his passes, while tossing 4-TDs.
The natives in Norman are once again starting to bet restless as OU, whose last national championship happened at the turn of the century 2000, is already saddled with a pair of losses, and with that porous display of defense, and an inept o-line, it would seem that more L’s are on the horizon which never sits well with the spoiled Sooner Nation. Stoops would be welcomed with opened arm at the Heights.
It also appears that Ohio State and Michigan are one a collision course for one of the 4-playoff spots which is great for my favorite conference: the Big Ten, and overall, for college football fans. It’s the 21st century version of: “Bo and Woody.”
In Lincoln, a huge win for nice guy Coach Mike Riley and his Cornhuskers of Nebraska who will be “moving on up” as George Jefferson used to say, into to AP top-25 rankings, after knocking off the Ducks of Oregon (they trailed 20-7 at the half) with a late TD run by QB Tommy Armstrong “the good Tommy”: 35-32.
It was Riley’s first win over his old nemesis in 8-tries, as the former Oregon State coach had lost 7-in-a-row to the Green from Eugene.
It also gives the Husker faithful some hope that it might be a serious player in the Big Ten conference championship chase.
Speaking of the Big Ten: here’s a simple commandment that holds fast and true: whenever the Spartans of Michigan State are getting points, lay in on the Boys from East Lansing.
Once again Mark Dantonio’s eleven, who were a 7-point dogs and relish that role marched into South Bend and smacked around Brian Kelly’s boys, opening up a 36-7 lead; before the Irish showed some fortitude, and made it a loss of respectability: 36-28. But never, ever discount a Dantonio coached team.
And in Oxford, Mississippi, it took three non-offensive TD’s for Alabama to hold off the spunky Rebels of Mississippi; 48-43.
‘Ole Miss stormed to a 24-3 lead, before the Tide finally awoke, but it still needed a pair of defensive TDs, plus a punt return for a touchdown to hold off the Sons of Archie Manning. YIKES!!!
The Alabama D, was seemingly exposed as being a bit of a fraud, and that will be worth watching as the season progresses for Groucho’s top ranked team.
There is no joy in Iowa City as the Bison of North Dakota State, who have won the last five FCS national championships, went into Iowa City and stunned the Hawkeyes with a last second winning field goal: 23-21. Good for them!!!!
And as always we close with the Ineptitude of the Kansas Jayhawks, which was the last team that “Mr. Bloviating Gasbag” Charlie Weis fixed, who lost once again, this time to the Tigers of Memphis: 43-7!! Sorry Charlie!!
That’s it from cyber-space. We’ll be up and running with our analysis of week 4 Wednesday night. Until then, Peace and listen to the music. PK