UMass humbled, Miami crushed, BC loses, Undefeated Harvard, Dartmouth meet Friday at Stadium

It a week in which the schedule was softer than the Charmin, and with Halloween just around the corner, we begin with a pair of “horror shows.”

Holy Toledo!

The first took place in our own backyard at the “friendly” confines of Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, where the Minutemen (1-6, 0-3), is a season that has turned worse than the “mouse” sandwich at Subway, fell to a talented, and nationally ranked bunch of Rockets from Toledo: 51-35.

But it’s the way Coach Mark Whipple’s team lost this game, blowing another big lead, which is most disconcerting.

“The Belles of Amherst” whose psyche is indeed softer than the Charmin, led 28-10 at the half and appeared as if it was ready to spring a huge, and must needed, season changing upset.

But after the break the Rockets exploded, outscoring the “Sad Sacks” from the Home of Emily Dickerson: 41-7.  OUCH!!!

As the faithful (12,000) are well aware, there was nothing poetic about this loss.

“We’re still looking to play a complete game,” said Whipple.  Whose deflated squad must now run the table in order to achieve its stated preseason goal of going bowling.

There is about as much chance of that happening, as the water gushing into the walls of the Big Dig Tunnels, drying up.

The other nightmare occurred in Coral Gables, Florida, where the Hurricanes aren’t even a Small Craft warning.

With apologies to Mel Brooks from “Blazing Saddles” the mantra for the beleaguered squad that was wearing uniforms that read: Miami was; “We don’t need no stinking defense.”

Miami was Veg-O-Matic-ed: crushed, sliced, and diced by the Tigers of Clemson 58-0; the worst drubbing in the 90-year history of Hurricane football. TRIPLE YIKES!!

How bad was it?

Try 42-0 at the half, as Clemson scored touchdowns in five of its first six possessions, and outgained the Hurricanes overall: 567-146.  OUCH!!!

Until yesterday, the standard bearer for Miami ineptitude happened over 7-decades ago, a 70-14 shellacking by Texas A&M on December 8th, 1944; back when FDR occupied the White House.

But yesterday’s no-show left no doubt that the 5-year tenure of Coach Al Golden is over.  It’s now just a matter of whether he’ll serve out the season.

But with a limited amount of funds to pay a coach – rumored to be $3 million – it will be difficult to attract a “name” coach to a place that has a weak, front running fan base, and whose home games are played off campus, 40 miles away in an often half-empty pro stadium.

Now back on the Homefront:

The Teammates; Buddy Teevens of Dartmouth, and Tim Murphy of Harvard will meet in what may be a Friday night classic at the Stadium, with the winner owning the keys to the Cadillac in the drive for the Ivy League Championship.

Both teams come into the game on a roll:

“The Green Bay Packers of the Charles” have won 20 in a row, dispatching Princeton 42-7, while the Big Green of Dartmouth in a penalty filled mess beat Columbia 13-9, and are riding a 9-game winning streak, which is its best start since Bill Clinton was chasing Barbara Streisand around the piano in: 1997.

Up at the Heights it was the same old recipe; Great D, no offense, as the Eagles of Boston College (3-5, 0-5) in another gritty performance fell to Louisville; 17-14.

To show how unbalanced the BC eleven are; the Sons of Doug Flutie were outgained 365-79.  YIKES!!

Where are the Hasselbecks when you need them??!!

And now BC must run the table in order to go bowling for the third consecutive year, and the odds of that area worse than Martin O’Malley wining the Democratic nomination for president.

Hail the “Smart Kids,” as Duke and Northwestern both won and are both bowl eligible.  And Coach David Cutcliffe’s (one of our favs) Dukies, have remarkably won 12 of its last 13 on the road, and remain undefeated (3-0) in the ACC race.

Not to be outdone, the “Harvard” of the West, Stanford (6-1) has emerged as the “Beast of the West” and has played its way into the playoff conversation.

How wide is the smile on Bo Pelini’s face??!!

After 7-seasons (62-27) as the head man of Nebraska, (which dropped to 3-5 with yesterday’s loss to Northwestern), Coach Bo, who never fell below 9 wins, and was canned last year after a 9-3 season, must have a Cheshire Cat knowing smile on his proboscis mug.

Proving once again, that the grass is not always greener!!

In Austin, the mob pointing six-shooters at the head of head coach Charlie Strong has at least temporarily stuffed themn back into the holsters, as the “Fighting Strong’s” won again: knocking off Kansas State; 23-9.  Good for Charlie.

Very quietly, there is a nice story taking place in Pittsburgh as Pat Narduzzi’s top-25 Panthers defeated Syracuse; 23-20 on a last second field goal to climb to 6-1 overall and 4-0 in the ACC.  Good for them.

In Sooner Land, maybe we wrote off Oklahoma too soon, as the Norman invaders have been rolling since its embarrassing hiccup against Texas.

And and with a back loaded schedule, the Sons of Bud Wilkerson may have a lot to say about who gets invited into the playoff of four- and that includes Bob Stoops’s troops if it runs the table.

And out in the Palouse there is life, as Mike Leach’s Washington Cougars (5-2), behind a starry QB that nobody knows in Luke Falk, have inserted itself into the Pac-12 conversation with its 45-42 victory over Arizona.  WOW!!!

Finally, we close as always with our “Star-Kist” smooch to the pompous gasbag Charlie Weis, whose spirit continues to stew in the bowls of the Kansas Football Program (0-7), arguably the nation’s worst, which once again was slaughtered, this time by Oklahoma State 58-10!!   Sorry Charlie!!!

That’s it from cyber-space.  We’ll be up and running with our analysis of week nine on Wednesday evening.  Until then, Peace, and listen to the music.  PK


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