Sometimes things Don’t go better with a Coke!

We begin this week with a new twist on the classic Coke jingle.

In Ann Arbor, Michigan as the gridiron losses continue to mount, and attendance at the “Big House” continues its downward spiral, it has also become readily apparent that things don’t always; “Go better with Coke.”

It turns out, that the Maize and Blue administrators were unaware of this week’s Coca-Cola game-day promotion in which the company had purchased a block of tickets for Saturday’s game against Minnesota.

For anyone who made a Coke purchase totaling as little as $3, two tickets to the Wolverines/Gophers game (a $150 value) were also included. WOW!!

Unfortunately, the giveaway didn’t have the university’s approval. And once the Wolverines, who are increasingly worried about its bottom line, found out about the promotion, it was immediately shut down.

Michigan reiterated its thur$$t for Coke when it issued the following: “Coke is a great partner of ours … but due to a miscommunication, the promotion should not have run as-is.”

Nevertheless, just keep the $pon$orship rolling!! Fill those coffers!!!

This weekend, let’s see which teams see things go better, and celebrate its victory with a Coke, and which play so poorly, not even free tickets from corporate will entice its faithful to view the carnage.

No. 6 Texas A@M at Arkansas (Ch.4, 3:30 p.m.) Jerry’s World, Arlington, Texas The Aggies have been so explosive (55 pts – second in nation) its 12th Man may get the day off.

QB Kenny Hill (13 touchdowns – 1 Int.), the latest gunslinger to reside in College Station, can light a scoreboard quicker than Jerry Jones inhales a tumbler of Johnnie Walker Blue, which cashes out at $200 a bottle.

The Aggie’s maestro is assisted by a pair of earth movers; tailbacks Trey and Brandon Williams, while wideout Malcome Kennedy is his preferred field-stretching target.

The D led by sack-master (5.5) end Myles Garett, and backer Donnie Baggs, is vastly improved from last season’s Ole’-style matador eleven.

In Fayetteville, Coach Bret Bielema, the invader from Wisconsin, has the faithful starting to believe.

The Hogs have been slicing opponents behind its starry QB Brandon Allen, whose stellar play, along with tailbacks Alex Collins, and Josh Williams, and wideout Keon Hatcher, has given the Razorbacks better balance than Nadia Komenich.

The D, led by end Trey Flowers, and backer Martrell Spaight is improving, but still contains more questions than a ballot in a California state election.

In Jerry’s suite, the Johnnie Blue is splashed around in frustration, as A@M butchers the young, but rapidly improving Hogs.

Duke at Miami (ESPN2, 7:30 p.m.) The Blue Devils are 4-0 for the first time, since Bill Clinton was dallying in the Oval Office – 1994.

QB Anthony Boone directs Coach David Cutcliffe’s remarkable Durham renaissance, seemingly utilizing as many tailbacks; Shaun Wilson, Josh Snead et al, as the letters in Coach K’s surname.

Duke’s D, led by end Jordan DeWalt-Ondijo, backer David Helton, and safety Devon Edwards can be as ornery as “our” Duke from Savin Hill.

(When’s the last time you saw Duke smile?? I rest my case!!)

The U faithful are still waiting for the hurricane warning flags to be posted over Sun Life Stadium signifying the return of the former football juggernaut.

The Sons of George Mira are under the command of a curve-climbing true freshman QB, Brad Kaaya, whose job performance has been as impressive as Boston Mayor Marty Walsh.

The Canes offensive catalyst is its dynamic tailback Duke Johnson, maybe the fastest Johnson since Atlantic Olympic Gold medalist Michael – 1996.

When the Hurricanes kid dart-thrower goes aerial, wideouts Clive Walford, and Phillip Dorsett, are dangerous defense testers.

The U’s D has a major disruptor in All-America backer Denzel Perryman, and is assisted by fellow backer Thurston Armbeister, and end Anthony Chickillo, but overall, has, as Jesse Jackson might say; “issues” stopping the run.

In a game in which a solid case can be made for both sides, we’ll take the Canes to take the wind out of the Dukies sails. Missouri at No.13 South Carolina (ESPN, 7:30 p.m.) This is a Ross Perot type of game.

To paraphrase the East Texas billionaire populist (now that’s an oxymoron), who twice ran for President, “Let’s look under the hood and see what we’ve got,” and what he’d find is two teams searching for some consistency.

Mizzou is directed by its starry sophomore QB, Matty Mauk (14 Tds – 4 Ints.), who happily performs in the anonymity that ISIS’ savage leader Abu Baker al-Baghdadi covets.

The talented dual-threat marksman is assisted by tailbacks Russell Hansbrough, and Marcus Murphy, while glue-fingered and chain moving wideout Bud Sasser, is a comforting Linus blanket target.

The D, anchored by book-ends; Markus Golden (hamstring will play), and partner Shane Ray, is like a cross walk, very pedestrian.

The Head Ball Coach, Steve Spurrier, who is now second alone to Bear Bryant in SEC victories, remains perpetually cranky regarding his squad.

But like Elle Macpherson in her prime, or German General Erwin Rommel, a fox when it comes to downplaying the talents of his Gamecocks.

After all, these Sons of George Rogers did defeat Georgia!!

The Cocks senior QB Dylan Thompson is no rolling stone, while tailbacks Mike Davis, a preseason All-America, and his partner Brandon Wilds, have the ability to splice apart any defense.

When the Tambourine Man from Columbia (not records) takes to the skies, receivers Pharoh Cooper, and Nick Jones are threatening targets.

But its D, led by backers; Skai Moore, and Sharrod Galightly, shows about as much spine as the Afghan Army (78th) in stopping the run.

We think the Chief Fox from Columbia, in a very tight game, adds another notch to his Hall of Fame resume.

No.16 Stanford at Washington (FOX, 4 p.m.) As the Cardinal fly to Seattle (this is for you BG – “and we don’t mean Timothy Dolan!”) it is imperative that it not drop to 0-2 in conference play, or its goal of a playoff invite, will disappear faster than the scent of incense at a High Mass.

The Sons of Jim Plunkett are directed by its oft erratic junior QB Kevin Hogan, who is assisted by a pair of pounding tailbacks; Barry Sanders jr. (7 yds. a carry – how’s that for pedigree), and his partner Kelsey Young.

When the big armed leader can find his target, wideout Ty Montgomery is as dangerous as an unannounced quiz in organic chemistry.

It’s early, but the Stanford D, anchored by backers A.J. Tarpley, James Vaughters, and safety Jordan Richards, has been harder to penetrate than the line to purchase an iPhone 6.

After compiling an eye-popping 92-12 record at Boise State, Huskies (4-0) Coach Chris Petersen is about to learn, to paraphrase Dorothy, “That he’s not in Boise anymore.”

The Sons of Warren Moon operate behind its dual-threat sophomore QB Cyler Miles, who has the luxury of targeting a trio of mercury-infused receivers Jaydon Mickens, and John Ross, and Kasen Williams.

When UDub grinds it out, tailbacks Lavon Coleman, and Dwayne Washington, carry the load.

The Huskies D returns nine starters, led by nose Danny Skelton, backers Shaq Thompson, and John Timu, but overall, this group has been as inconsistent as the striper fishing season in Boston Harbor.

We think Dorothy was right, as the Cardinal (not Dolan) fly home with the W.

Colorado State at Boston College – The Rams are capable of butting heads with anyone.

The Sons of Lawrence McCutcheon are directed by its starry senior QB Garrett Grayson (8 Touchdowns – 2 Ints.), who can choose from a passel of quality wideouts led by Rashard Higgins, and Joe Hansley.

But CSU’s ground attack, featuring Treyous Jarrells, and De Hart, won’t cause any sleepless nights for BC’s Mensa d-coordinator; Don Brown.

The Rams D anchored by a trio of backers: Max Morgan, Aaron Davis, and Cory James is a bottom feeding 103rd defending the run, which isn’t a winning formula against the Eagles.

Not even St. Ignatius saw this start coming.

The Eagles are just 3 victories shy from becoming bowl eligible, and by last Saturday afternoon, may have that number shaved to two. Amazing!!

QB Tyler Murphy (3 TDs. – 5 Ints.- 51%) is the engine behind the nation’s third best (336 yds. game) rushing attack, with starring contributions from tailbacks: Jon Hilliman, and Myles Willis.

But the Eagles QB, who has already accumulated 500 yards while averaging an eye-popping 9 yards a carry, completes a pass about as often as Jackie Bradley gets a hit, or Governor Patrick spends a day at the State House, and that one dimensional offense may be an albatross, or as Tom Menino once said “Alcatraz,” around the necks of the Chestnut Hill eleven.

BC’s top-20 D, featuring backers Steven Daniels, Josh Keys, and end Brian Mihalik, has been as stout as the Guinness hoisted in honor of Mayor Marty Walsh’s during his sojourn to Ireland.

It’s not quite a miracle, but we think St. Ignatius continues to be amazed, as BC’s victorious locker room belts out “For Boston” after it captures win number four.

Last week:   4-1                                                                               Season record:   16-4.

That’s it from cyber-space. We’ll be up and running with our recap by noon on Sunday. Until then, Peace. And listen to the music!     pk

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